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So I was talking to some of my lifestyle friends today on the phone and I happened to mention this other couple that we often play with and the guy I was speaking with was quick to express his dislike for them. After inquiring why he did not approve of them he told me that they always swoop up the new couples in our area, and that there has been times when they have hooked up with people that he and his wife had been wanting to hook up with for a long time. After hanging up the phone I sat in a state of thought for a bit. What's the big deal? So they swoop up the new couples. We try to refrain from playing with extremely inexperienced couples anyway. We see them as possible time bombs. So what if they have interest in the same people and got to them first? Instead of speaking badly about them I think it speaks highly of their character personally. So they are charismatic, outgoing, and people are attracted to them. If a couple gets to a couple we wanted to play with before us we don't get upset we find another couple to play with or we play with each other. After all isn't swinging defined as "no strings attached sex" with other people? I think some people take this way too seriously and way too personally. I have never seen swinging as a competition. Do you guys have any instances where you have felt this way, or have seen people act dramatic over being "cock blocked"? Do you guys agree or disagree with my opinions? Please discuss.

Well it sounds like there may be some jealousy factors with your freind and this other couple. Maybe not that they want to hookup with this couple, but they envy this couple in that they want to be more outgoing and hook up with couples more easily. In result they may want to be more like this couple that they actually seem to dislike. I don't know that this is the case, but if it is: My advice to the couple would be to befriend this couple that they seem to dislike, and ride the coat tails sort of. I realize this would require getting over the animosity. However: The thought behind the suggestion, is that as people we naturally tend to become a little like those we hang around with. Furthermore, it sounds like this agressive couple (and in this case agressive being a good thing obviously) put themselves in situations where more opportunities present themselves, and probably already realize that sitting in the corner or staying at home isn't going to get them very far with other couples. I and the Mrs could probably learn a little from their social skills, as they sound very socially adept. However, as far as your friend and his or her spouse, they may actually benefit from hanging out with this couple that "swoops up all the new couples in town", just by being in the situations that present more possibilities. That's my 2 cents....

I'm going to take a little bit different approach here and address as what I see as what could be the real issue down the road. I think the swinging and lifestyle issues are a bit of a red herring here and are masking what will really bite you in the ass if you get back together and marry this gal. What I think is the real issue here is your GF's insensitivity and selfishness. Let's face facts, she cheated on you and setting up a MFM behind your back is pretty darn over the top. Then when you bitch about it and state you don't want to associate with her co-conspirators she says that it is YOU that is being "unfair." That's bullshit, you have every right in the world to be mad at everyone that took part in that and I do believe the one you should have the most issues with is your GF herself. You had agreements and rules by which you were going to swing by and she broke them all and was completely disrespectfull and noncompassionate to you in the process. Her excuse was that you were moving too slow and she wanted something that you wouldn't "let" her do sexually. Ok, so what makes you think that she isn't going to go out and so things in the future without your knowledge or consent just because she wants too? Lets put swinging aside for the moment. What are you gonna do when she wants a new car that you don't think you can afford at the moment and there is nothing wrong with the car she has now? -What are you gonna do when she decides she wants kids and you aren't ready yet so she stops taking the pill without your knowledge or consent? -What are you gonna do when she wants to take a caribean cruise with some of her single slut girlfriends so they can all get drunk and get some cock and you don't want her to? -What are you gonna do when she takes out a second mortgage on the house without your knowledge to pay for a bunch of stupid shit that she doesn't need and can't afford? -What are you gonna do when she plans all the holiday and vacation plans around her friends and family and doesn't consider any of your wants and needs. - What are you gonna do when the day comes (and from how you described her that day WILL come) that she decides you just aren't fun enough for her anymore and she wants a new guy? THESE questions are the ones you need to be asking yourself before you decide to get back with this chick!! Listen, she may be a very fun person and she may be the hottest thing in the sack since Jenna Jamison but issues like these are what makes or breaks a real relationship, not whether her friend is a dick or not. It doesn't really matter if her friend is a dick or a creep, what is at issue is that it is your girlfriend that is showing you her true colors and her true colors are she is selfish, insensitive, disrespectfull and does very hurtfull things to you because she wants to do them and then she trys to blame you for it because you weren't "moving fast enough" and weren't ready to do them with her at the time. There are 3 billion women out there and at least one of them will be a compassionate and respectfull person that would be honored to share your life with you and will move at your pace and will consider your feelings before taking any actions. Take the time and energy you have spent with this situation and use it to find a decent person you can share your life with that will treat you decently.

Not getting an apology when you feel it is due has probably kept you from forgiving your girlfriend's friend. Don't wait around for it, don't expect it, just let it go. If I was in your shoes I'd decide to give her a second chance and make an effort to know her and her boyfriend, not as playmates (in case you were considering that) but just as vanilla acquaintances. I think the friends that your girlfriend chooses will tell you a lot about your girlfriend and will help you decide if she's the right girl for you. Good luck.