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Personally, I'd take it on a per-situation basis. Get a feel for the couple and see what they were like. We're both very much into free choice, so an all-out D/s relationship would probably turn us both off by virtue of one party voluntarily giving up a lot of their immediate choices (no offense to anyone who is into D/s. With all due respect, it's not our cup of tea). But if we got on well and liked them, why not?

Hi Ed and Bunny, First, I want to point out the difference between people who "have a problem with it" and those for whom it would be a turn-off. We don't have a problem at all with people who enjoy what they're doing and it suits them. More power to them! However, everyone has their own sexual turn-ons and turn-offs, and for many this is just simply a turn-off (it's not a judgement of you). This is now part of your relationship and your lifestyle. It's probably fairly significant to you, and influences how you think and feel about sexual scenarios. If it was a costume or something, it wouldn't affect my decision. If D/s is your lifestyle, it would turn us off. We've talked about this, and we're turned-off by both sides of this equation. Again, this is all about sexual preferences.

Thank you for replying. I should have been specific when asking about your poly rules, because here's what I want to know: Has an agreement been made that neither your wife nor the BF will have sex with other people? I'm guessing so since you don't swing and all of your relationships have been based on emotional intimacy over an extended period of time. I think the BF would have a difficult time holding to this rule. I had to look up the word "compersion." Compersion is a term used by practitioners of polyamory or swingers to describe the experience of taking pleasure when one's partner is with another person. So, if I understand you, the BF's wife takes no pleasure in her husband's relationship with your wife. Did you mean "insistance" of full disclosure? You can insist, but you don't know what the BF is telling his wife. Stacking up all you've said, I think your poly rules are only providing you with false justification for the 'V'; it's a way to make you feel better about this whole "affair." It really boils down to the three of you cheating on the BF's wife. If I was the BF, here's what would be going through my head: I have made cheating a pattern in my marriage. I'm not as happy and fulfilled as I would like to be, neither is my wife. We are just FWB who share the same house (raise our kids?) and have agreed to tolerate a sad situation. I have found a woman who I care about and love to fuck and wonder if she wasn't married if I would leave my wife and marry her...but she already has a husband she loves and because the guy is okay with me having sex with her, how can I hate him? He's a nice guy. But what do I want for myself? If I ever get divorced I'd like to find a woman I can love completely, enjoy sex with and have her love me in the same way. I don't think I could ever share her with anyone else and I would hope I'd never feel the need to ever have affairs again. What the hell am I doing having an affair with a woman I will never have to myself? And it's not just with her, in a strange way it's with her husband too - I just don't get this poly stuff. This is bugging me like crazy and something's got to change. LM

Our tag line on SLS for a little while was "Premium Poon at Wholesale Prices". We got quite a few hits from that. I'm good at these. Here are a few more off the top of my head: "We're not into pain or donkey shows...anymore" "Porn Stars sent back down to the Minors" "She likes it in the ass, he just is an ass" "Wife says I'm the best. Need a second opinion" "Now that my presidential campaign is over, time to play!" "Wife once blew Dale Jr." That would actually get you hits in the south! "If anybody finds a wedding band in their ass from last night, dial 555-7534" I'll have to think on it some more.

Maturity is not measured by actual age, but more by actions, intentional or unintentional. The lifestyle is made up by a broad spectrum of people. There are those that have more acceptance of differences as in; age, color, religion, social status and experiences, and then there are those who put up limitations and exclusions which are defined in their profiles or their social attitudes. For us mature,non judgmental people we meet in the lifestyle, are true lifestyle people. Genuine, honest, open minded, and accepting. Those people will always draw more in the long run than those who are all flash have no substance.