We meet playmates in a variety of ways...
The large majority, we meet on-line through yahoo groups and others. Yeah, there are some no-shows, and some who just want to email back and forth for months. And misc other hassles (e.g., pic collectors). But of the folks we've met that way, the large majority have been nice folks and good playmates.
The second largest group we've met are at adult bookstores and theaters. (hey, they're there with sex on their minds and they can't no show) Many of them have become friends and recurring playmates. We usually -- though not always -- go there with L dressed seductively; she definitely catches eyes, and things progress from there.
Third largest group is through various clubs and parties.
And finally, L occasionally picks up a guy in a vanilla situation and the guy gets lucky. Vanilla situations have included: at the pharmacy while getting her birth control pills refilled; a guy who caught her eye while driving; the captain on a scuba diving boat; the hired help at resorts; misc others. While these are fun for their spontaneity, they're occasional and catch as catch can.
After all these years playing, on line groups are still our best resource.