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I was reading a post from a thread about single males when numbskulls2x made a comment that got me thinking. Men who are successful in this lifestyle seem to understand women in general a little better than your average vanilla man. Do you think this is because we men in the lifestyle are more "in touch with our feminine side?" or is it that we just like the idea of having tons of wild sex and we are willing to do things other men wouldn't in order to get it. I mean no disrespect to the ladies here, but let's be honest. Those of us men who enjoy the idea of our wives/gfs enjoying sexual variety while emotionally faithful to us are the exception to the rule. Maybe we are more evolved then men who live their lives slaves to basic jealousy, but we are still guys, and we still love the locker-room talk, and when we have just gotten laid by each other's wives, we want to talk about golf, that 69 Camaro I'm restoring, and in my case, what we think Rainbow Six Vegas 2 is going to be like on XBox vs. Playstation. There is a great amount of truth in the notion that women make the rules in this lifestyle. I appreciate and respect it, and wouldn't want it any other way, but guys, how do you relate with other men in the lifestyle, and do you feel that it is still OK for us guys to act like guys? I hope this makes sense.

Well, I think the "stupid filter" really is a matter of comfort with who you're currently with. I say some pretty stupid things around Amelia all the time, but I do so with the knowledge she won't stare at me slackjawed while frantically trying to hail a cab. Well, at least she hasn't done so yet. I have almost the same level of comfort with a very small group of vanilla friends as well, as well as a one of our swinger friends. But I do have to admit that it is liberating being able to go out to a public even, seeing an attractive woman, glancing over to her and mentally undressing her with your eyes, and knowing that not only is your wife not mad at you, she's doing the same thing.

Is this a discussion topic or a personal flirt thread??? I was reading some philosophy last night about why the expectation of monogamy is the social norm. The author's thought was the norm of monogamy is the result of paterminal dominance. He admitted that his supporting arguments were incomplete. It made me wonder about what was the sexual patterns associated with matriarchial societies (as a contrast). I haven't read much about the sexual preferences of the Amazons. I have heard about enough nonmonogamus activities (recreational and ritual) within the occult sector of society (which is also dominated by women) to at least make me wonder about the corelation between gender dominance and social sexuality. I think it's fair to say that swingdom is ruled by the ladies. I think it's also important to say that the authority is seldom abused. I think women generally tend to be less selfish than men. So, how do we differ from "vanilla men"? I think is generally the same as how I differ from my preswinging self. I discovered for myself that the notion of jealousy I had believed for so long was completely hollow, a facade, a fabrication designed to convince me to follow the status quo.... I discovered that true respect for each other encouraged rather than discouraged swinging as a recreational activity. So I think swingers have paid attention to the man behind the curtain. What have we given up for the privilage of porkin the neighbor's wife? - trust in meaningless superstitions and acknowledging the benevolent leadership of the ladies. And our preference to exagerate the size of the fish we caught, remains unchanged....