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These posts get too involved at times. In all honesty, I haven't read everyone's replies. But I've read much of the original poster's messages. I don't know what I am seeing, but I think I would say there's TOO MUCH I! The tell is right in this sentence: "We were both in the swing lifestyle together and I wasn't ready for her to be with 2 men at the same time." In particular, "I wasn't ready for HER". Your girlfriend's friend was indeed being a friend. She was willing to take a chance so that your girlfriend could experience something she wanted/desired. Your girlfriend couldn't get that support from you, so she turned to where she knew she could. (Granted, there might have been some ulterior motives on the part of the friend that would have also benefitted her.) This kind of calls into question where you stand with your girlfriend? Are you going to be supportive of HER, or are you going to be the one who "isn't going to be ready"? And I'm NOT talking about sex! You mentioned "Marriage" (that I'll add with a capital "M"). You'll need to get a better idea of how the two of you are going to go through the rest of your lives before you start talking the "M" word. Right now, I'm not reading this. There's still too much, for lack of a better word, immaturity in your messages. Your girlfriend's friend should never have been the target for your dislike just because she was being supportive of her friend. That won't help in the long run. Best of luck to you.

I really don't have anything particuarly good to add here...but felt I should throw in my .02 worth anyway. lol First of all, the other people's reactions may have nothing to do with you. While you may think everything went well...and it may have for that evening...maybe they aren't into having repeat partners. I mean, I get the feeling that what you describe (having bascially a circle of friends/acquaintances that play every so often...not necessarily exclusive, but repeat performances) is the ideal for many swingers...but quite a few people really just aren't looking for that. They are here more for the variety and tend to take a 'been there, done that approach'. If it was a good experience, they'll take it an go with it. Why? Because the next time may be too familiar and not as exciting for them...so why diminish the original awesome experience they have had with another experience that may not be as intense or amazing in their eyes. The thing is, some of the questions you posted up in your original post...did I not fuck good enough, dick too small, wife not attractive enough, etc...honestly, would it make you feel any better if someone did answer those questions? I would take it as more of an ego blow to be ripped apart like that instead of just chalking it up to 'eh, their loss if they don't want to play again'. I do think your expectations are too high...but maybe you do need to change up your MO...you may not like the clubs, but go. Starting your own group around an activity or house party is a good idea that other posters mentioned. As for your presumption that some people may not have their shit as together as y'all do...you may be right...but there are plenty of people that just take a 'go with the flow' attitude and let that guide them rather than being overly specific in what they are looking for. Good luck!