Right off I'll acknowledge my "qualifications" for addressing this topic are extremely suspect. I'm a 51-y.o. single male who's never been married (although I had several short/medium relationships and one long-term relationship. Honest!). No kids. And no sperm-donation centers will be calling me either...I found out about that too late to profit from it.
I own a 1996 four-door Honda Accord. It IS a stick, not an automatic; I learned stick 30+ years ago and I'm not changing...for a while. (Plus, it's helpful to know how to drive a manual transmission when traveling outside of the U.S. Renting an automatic transmission car outside of North America, I've found, can be very expensive, since manuals seemed to be the choice in the rest of the world. That could have changed by now. Driving a stick in France, Italy, and the rest of the European continent isn't so bad (although I'd love to try the Autobahn), but really, you haven't lived until you've driven a stick -- on the left side of the road, of course, on the right side of the car -- in England, Ireland, Australia, and New Zealand. Fun! (SCARY, occasionally...not even counting the occasional kangaroo or yobbo.))
I have no fear of firearms but only have handled BB guns, .22s, and whatever shotguns we used during skeet-shooting during our company "retreats." I'm sort of stuck around an 80% hit-rate with the .22s (used them in summer biathlons: run a mile, shoot five targets prone, run a mile, shoot five targets standing, run a mile, collapse) and the skeet-shooting (only five opportunities at that, though). Maybe I should get a little more practice.
I have not hunted, but I've fished. I know how to gut, clean, fillet, and cook fish. And for those of you who are coastal fishermen, I can also clean and prepare a pretty decent skate wing. (Had enough of them chew on hooks when I was just trying to catch some Virginia Spots or flounder, so I decided to learn why European fish companies buy the skates caught by US trawlers. The reason is that skate is pretty tasty.)
Oh, and I have a dick.
And balls.
One ball's rather small, though.
So, anyway, am I manly enough?
Didn't think so.
Well, regardless, I want to make a point, or get back to a point that I might have made if I actually posted what I was thinking awhile ago: In the vanilla bar/pick-up/dating/hooking-up scene the male is usually the aggressor. Yes, lots of women make themselves available in clubs, bars, and other venues, but the male is usually the pursuer.
In the lifestyle, the male (single or coupled) has to rein-in his aggressiveness (his sexuality) to some extent. Why? I think because there might be a more level sexual playing field in the lifestyle. Whereas the vanilla world usually works on the men being expected to be more assertive/aggressive ("...because that's the way men are..."), in the lifestyle the situation is closer (it might not be equal, but it's closer) to parity. Women in the lifestyle tend to be more confident in their sexuality, so they can be more confident, and be accepted in that role, in being the "aggressor" in a sexual context.
So, what I'm trying to say with the Psych 101 stuff is that the best strategy for getting laid in the vanilla world (most Western culture) is not necessarily the best way to get laid in the "lifestyle." Men are usually perceived as the sexual aggressors in Vanilla World, but in SwingWorld women have a certain level of assertiveness/aggressiveness that is recognized as being equal to, or almost equal to, the testosterone set. In the lifestyle, the WOMAN can ask the MAN to dance...she doesn't have to wait for Sadie Hawkins' Day.
Maybe this slow shift to sexual equality is what the Original Poster is getting at; not necessarily that some men are being feminized, but that the lifestyle makes men realize that all men and women are sexual...and that's that way it should be, a level playing field that everyone can enjoy.
Thrax
/Btw, my bowling average is 182. Does that sound masculine?
//I can swim a mile in open water in 30 minutes, can you do that?
///I shared a hospital room with Jamie Lee Curtis...sort of
////Oh...never mind
/////Me mum said, "If'n you don't make yer posts useful, at least make 'em enjoyable."