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For my first (few) times in an MFM, the most difficult thing for me was to relax. And I firmly believe that for everyone to enjoy themselves the woman must be relaxed. For me a hot bath, a little wine, the right environment (low lights, candles, music, etc.) helped a lot. Also, I picked a guy I knew well (had had good sex with before our marriage, and I knew would be happy to join in). We quickly progressed to a few situations where I was blindfolded and my hubby and another guy he picked focused on me. That again, the focus by both of you 'doing' your wife, rather than her 'doing' you will make for a great MFM. Good luck. Far and away MFM's are our favorite activity.