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Always love to here the people were not hot enough for us. Maybe you should stay home and look in the mirror instead. We have been to Trap many times and if someone causes trouble they take care of it. This does not happen often but it can happen. One of the things we like about the club is its all ages and all types, even shallow people are allowed inside. You don't have to do us if we don't meet your standards but to put done others because they are not the hotties you want and still choose to be see at a club well mest be great to be you and I am sure when you get to 50 you will do everyone a favor and never leave the house again.

We are in our late 50s and married for many years. Hubby suggested swinging 5 years ago, I said, “OK, let’s give it a try.” It has been a fun, hot, sexy, educational, and life changing experience. We really lived the lifestyle. We did lifestyle activities most weekends for those 5 years. Early this year, our swinging lifestyle came to a crashing halt when I found the painful herpes sores on my labia. Hubby has been great as I knew he would. His words to me were…….That is it. We are done swinging. Don’t worry about it. We will be fine. He made a special point to thank me for giving him the chance to live out his fantasies. Did we do everything we could to avoid an STD? No, we did not. We made choices that gave us what we wanted from swinging. We knew there were risks, but like most people, we hoped the odds would be in our favor. Life goes on. I have had no more outbreaks. Fingers are crossed that my immune system keeps the virus dormant. I must be honest and say that we really miss swinging. We still think like swingers. Swingers do see the world differently, and we still like the view. Now we go out to dinner every Saturday night, because that was our main swinging night. It is much too depressing to stay home on a Saturday night for us. I have been reading this board for all of the 5 years we were swinging but under a different name. I thought I would not want to read here anymore, but I find I can’t stay away. Once a swinger, always a swinger is true. I can’t think any other way even now. I hope all of you successfully avoid STDs in the lifestyle.

Sounds like we share a story... My wife and I are 24, we started swinging in September of last year. We took it very slowly to begin with, but as she started liking it more and more we got more and more involved in the life style. Rarely in the past months has there been a weekend where we didn't go out and meet with other like minded folks. I really agree with your statement. My wife and I do as well. We still aren't sure how we are going to fully handle the situation. We've already got it, there is no taking it back... it's a life time deal. I'm 24 years old, been healthy all my life and now I get to take a giant blue horse pill every day for the rest of my life. That's a long god-damn time. I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm upset, and I know my wife is the same way. We took the precautions we thought necessary, we didn't pick people up at the bars, we played with people who we felt comfortable with and who we thought were also safe and sane. We certainly didn't play with anyone exhibiting symptoms, and condoms were always used for intercourse. Now we have these horrible calls to make to everyone we've been intimate with in the last month. "Hello, some shithead gave us herpes, hopefully A) your not the shithead and B) we didn't give it to you" and hope that everyone in our new found group of friends doesn't hate us and egg our house. We briefly entertained the idea of not telling anyone, taking our daily valtrex and always requiring a condom... but we just can't do that, yes it would make life easier but god I would feel like such a jackass if anyone of my friends were to become infected from me. We just saw the doctor this morning so I can't say for sure how all my emotions are going to play out... it's a roller-coaster that's for sure. The Doc didn't seem to think it matters that much, said 75% of the world has it, now you are just part of that 75%. I know he was trying to make me feel better... and possibly if I wasn't a swinger that would work. But being a swinger, and being as involved in the local community as we have been this puts a serious damper on how we conduct ourselves, and how people are going to react to us even being at the get-togethers. We're extremely concerned with being shunned, and I can't say that we don't deserve it I guess.... but what we definitely don't deserve is people finding out and thinking "those stupid kids" we're not stupid, we're taking the same risks as everyone else in the community. We are waiting 2 weeks to find out from the swab test if this is HSV1 or HSV2, but I don't even know if that makes a difference really... Thanks for posting... it's good to know there are other swingers out there that are going through the same shit we are.

This is a minor pet-peev area of mine. To me you are only a swinger if you are in a commited relationship and exchange/invite extra partners for sex. I don't think intercourse is required but its gotta be more than heavy petting. So singles are not swingers, none of the flirty couples are swingers, some guy bringing a call girl isn't a swinger, married but not to each other couples, are again, not swingers, nor do I feel open marriages make you a swinger. Maybe my definition seems narrow but some make it so broad as to become meaningless. If you get off on your wife going to a bar alone, picking up some guy, and then telling you about it, thats fine, but its not something my wife or I could relate to nor would I call it swinging. If you are a single guy that for whatever reason persues couples looking for a MFM, thats great, but you aren't a swinger you are a single guy. Some seem to get offended by this, and I'm not sure why. Its not saying you shouldn't do what you are doing, its just that the term 'swinger' doesn't apply. Finally the whole 'lifestyle' thing. To me lifestyle couples would be the ones who's entire social calander seems to revolve around swinging events/parties/etc. Its hard to describe where that line is, but at one point we crossed it, decided it wasn't all that fun, and pulled back. I think most just use it as a euphamism for swinging, but I suppose I reseve it for those who are REALLY into swinging and being seen.

Personally, I would be highly skeptical about anything I read on some sites because many of their so-called "facts" just are not true. The problem with statistics is that most of the time they are not true. At the best, they are educated estimates but usually not even that. The fact is, in the case of STD’s; some self-appointed expert that has an agenda usually generates them. Then others repeat what these self-appointed experts say until it becomes the accepted "conventional wisdom". Let’s face it; if you believe these statistics and are worried about contracting Herpes then you should not be swinging. Even the most optimistic of "experts" say that condoms only provide a "slight amount" of protection from Herpes. In reality, it is safest to assume that condoms provide no protection from Herpes. If you get cold sores or fever blisters, you are much more likely to give yourself genital Herpes than you are to get it from a sex partner. Do I worry about contracting Herpes? Yes, but I don't lose a lot of sleep over it. First off, I don't believe that every fourth person I talk to has it, as the "statistics" would indicate. Secondly, I use my eyes, if a person has cold sores or the signs of herpes on or near their genitals; I am not going to have sex with them. In the end though, their is no way for me to know for sure, so I have to decide for myself if I am willing to take the risk. Furthermore, while I admire the people who have the integrity to tell people that they have an STD up front, I am going to assume that people will not tell me and keep myself educated and my eyes open. In my opinion, safe sex is staying sober and aware, using good judgment, and paying attention to details. This is one of the reasons I would not play with someone who does not do oral sex (the other reason is that I like it). Oral as foreplay is a good opportunity to get down there and get a good look.

If I had it to do all over again I wouldnt believe anyone that says they are STD free. The couple I was with had been married for 25 years, were not swingers and were good friends of mine, turns out she knew she had it just didnt like to think about it, or thought she was cured. Some people are just in denial. I would play like everyone has it!

O.K., I'm not sure if this is the place to put this, but I knew it would be seen, and that Julie could move it if necessary. Back in January, over MLK B'Day weekend, we visited my folks in Miami and decided to go to a club, Trapeze. We had been out of Swinging for quite some time (never really in it that long), but wanted a little excitement and figured we would go "see and be seen". We weren't planning to play with others, but, if the opportunity presented itself properly, sure, maybe, why not? We got to the club and it was pretty well layed out. Nice bar, nice dance floor (kinda sucky music, but we're dance instructors, we're hard to please) and a really nice buffet. The requisite porn was showing on two TVs and the skinny twenty-something girls were on the floor vogue-ing for one another. Most of the crowd was the "not Ken and Barbie" set and were MUCH older than us (we're late 30's to early 40's, most were 50's and up). Now, I am not ranking on the "not Ken and Barbie" folks (we're kinda in that range) or the near-baby boomers. It's simply that we were going to see and be seen and wanted to be surrounded by the young 20-30 something Miami hard bodies that Trapeze is supposedly famous for attracting (all the pics on their site are of said people). Most of the even borderline attractive (to us, I know, please don't hate) women, were partnered with big, bald, bearded, biker looking dudes, which are simply not our taste. Well, we weren't exactly feeling the love, but we thought we'd give the play room a try, if only to see it and play together. As we cautiously walked back there, a very very large (overweight, not foot ball player large), naked man in his mid-fifties, was being ejected from the play room, screaming and yelling, as another man and his partner came out. The second man was bleeding from his face where the first man had punched him and his partner (wife?) was visibly shaken, as were all those around them. This really put a damper on things for us, as well as the others who came out of the room, so my wife and I decided to go enjoy the buffet and then leave. It didn't turn out as planned, but it made for a good story.

How is it that the two of you can have the frame of mind to be swingers and you both have communicable deseases?

Hi Paramour2_99 I don't know that there is a connection between being Christian and loving all human beings as history has many examples that contradict this. However, I have no problem with the concept of loving all human beings no matter what your religious outlook is. However, regarding the negative opinions of the lifestyle, everyone has sex that I know of bar a very very few. With sensible precautions, it is a healthy activity. Even without the precautions, it is no more hazardous than a thousand other recreational activities in which people participate. I see the pleasure that my wife gets from having a number of guys having sex with her. That's pleasure for her, pleasure for me and certainly pleasure for any of the other guys concerned. We are 49 and although not spring chickens, we are not yet ready to lay down and die. We just want to lay down and have fun. best regards Alan & Catherine

To Dave and Sheila That is a tragic story. To die right in front of your eyes,,,,no doubt that vision will be long lasting for both of you and his wife. I pray he made a decision at some point, hopefully seconds before dieing that he would pray for God's forgiveness for his sins. The legacy that he leaves behind for himself and for his living spouse is particullarly terrible. To have the medics pick-up your corpse at a swingers club. Now all his cousins, nieces, nephews, parents, in-laws, friends, will here rumor of their lifestlye. I'm sure they didn't have "SWNGR" on their license plates. Now the community knows of her activities. No doubt she may end up relocating. If they have children now they may wind up carrying that luggage. Imagine the funeral and the wake. They're not going to discussing how good a man he was, they're going to talk about where he died and the shame therein. Of all the good a person can do in "our short time on this earth" only to die in shame at a swingers club. Yes, we're only on this earth for a short time so we need to live it as "carefully" as possible. My regards and heartfelt wishes go out to the surviving spouse,,,,,"X" Swinger