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The Klingon Kouple - they invade your personal space a little too quickly when your shields are down and they engage the tractor beam. Evasive manuvers are less than completely effective, where's that damn cloking device....

It seems like you should follow the first rule of swinging, be honest. Tell the couple that you found them to be incredibly cool at the meet and greet. Then explain that you heard that there was an episode where he had attempted to perform oral sex on a straight guy when the guy in question hadn't agreed to that in advance. See if its true and he's bi. Let them know that it is unacceptable at your straight male party, and that they will have to either not come or don't behave that way. My husband is bioral for lack of a better label. He would never in a million years consider doing that to some unsuspecting straight guy. In our opinion and in the opinion of many of our friends, both straight and bi, you descide on the boundaries ahead of time and play within those boundarys

A little bit of both. I find it quite funny that I'm with people who all think their hobbies are *the lifestyle" - Swingers, people who create (transformative) art, body modification freaks, bookworms, writers and Computer Nerds - So I'm in the Lifestyle and in The Lyfestyle and in The Lifestyle and in The Lifestyle and in that other Lifestyle as well. So if I say "I'm in the Lifestyle" it always depends on where and when I say it as it can mean a lot of different stuff. In the end I'm just someone who spends all her time talking, discussing and doing things I like - so all my hobbies together create my very own Lifestyle.

Lets see, you said: "Most of the crowd was the "not Ken and Barbie" set and were MUCH older than us (we're late 30's to early 40's, most were 50's and up). Now, I am not ranking on the "not Ken and Barbie" folks (we're kinda in that range) or the near-baby boomers. It's simply that we were going to see and be seen and wanted to be surrounded by the young 20-30 something Miami hard bodies that Trapeze is supposedly famous for attracting (all the pics on their site are of said people)." So, even being 'kinda' in the 'not Ken and Barbie' range, you thought those young 'hardbodies' were going to find you attractive ? That they'd ignore the bodies and age difference in a way you can't about those older and more 'not Ken and Barbie'? How does that work ? Look, we have no problem with your preference, but unless you're going to hit the gym and get in the hardbody range, we think your expectations are just a bit unrealistic.

This is a minor pet-peev area of mine. To me you are only a swinger if you are in a commited relationship and exchange/invite extra partners for sex. I don't think intercourse is required but its gotta be more than heavy petting. So singles are not swingers, none of the flirty couples are swingers, some guy bringing a call girl isn't a swinger, married but not to each other couples, are again, not swingers, nor do I feel open marriages make you a swinger. Maybe my definition seems narrow but some make it so broad as to become meaningless. If you get off on your wife going to a bar alone, picking up some guy, and then telling you about it, thats fine, but its not something my wife or I could relate to nor would I call it swinging. If you are a single guy that for whatever reason persues couples looking for a MFM, thats great, but you aren't a swinger you are a single guy. Some seem to get offended by this, and I'm not sure why. Its not saying you shouldn't do what you are doing, its just that the term 'swinger' doesn't apply. Finally the whole 'lifestyle' thing. To me lifestyle couples would be the ones who's entire social calander seems to revolve around swinging events/parties/etc. Its hard to describe where that line is, but at one point we crossed it, decided it wasn't all that fun, and pulled back. I think most just use it as a euphamism for swinging, but I suppose I reseve it for those who are REALLY into swinging and being seen.

Knottyboi, Sorry to hear that you were put into a situation where people were not respectful. When single guys act like that it is a wonder that any of them get any interaction!. My wife and I are from the Louisville area and would love the opportunity to chat with you if you were interested...... M&C

It seems you guys have it a lot worse than we do here in the UK. For one thing, we NEVER get groups of girls patrolling the clubs on a voyeurs mission - it just doesn't happen over here and it's rare to find one single woman in a club let alone gangs of them! The single guys have such a bad rap over here that they know if they cause any trouble at all they will be ejected from the club and never allowed back in again. When playing the rooms are always quiet (apart from the screams and moans from the ladies participating of course). Watchers tend to keep quiet and they know that it WILL spoil the moment for both themselves and the couple/group they are watching. I have often looked up to find several people watching and that's when my 'kinky' hat comes on and I usually select one of them to come and play with us (usually unbeknown to my partner, but she has learned to expect that from me). Things seem so much more different across the pond and I think it would be quite unnerving for foreigners playing in U.S. clubs for the very first time - it sure as hell wouldn't stop me trying it though Wishmaster.