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Wow ladyfirst... You sound like a remarkable woman.... Kudos to ya.

This is a huge trend in our community. We have three different organizations that host club parties. When we first got into swinging it was with a couple that runs one of these groups and they used to do nothing but throw sexy house parties that were a mix of swingers and open-minded non-swingers. Then their parties went more fully swinger and the attendance dropped. When they started renting clubs for a night and hosting parties there, they invited both swingers and open-minded non-swingers because just swingers alone would not financially support the event. So what we've seen is out of necessity the party and event organizers are inviting a more mixed crowd because you just can't do one of these events and make money off them with just swingers. The difference in turn-out is 150 to 200 swingers or 400 - 500 swingers and non-swingers combined. And that's what these parties are, money making ventures for the organizers and the club owner.

Also, you should consider joining Poly-Austin, The Austin Polyamory Social Group. It's membership is now up to about 680 members, with some of them being out of state members like myself (well I'm considering moving to Austin for poly and healthy living). I also recommend visiting polymatchmaker.com

And even if you were interested in developing romantic feelings, it isn't something you can "build up" on purspose, from the scratch. As for us, we're open to embrance romantic feeling should they bring up with people we knew swinging, but we're not activelly looking for them. This is much like trying to meet someone you don't know out wanting to get a new friend... no one make friends this way. You meet people, and luckily, very few of the people you get to know become friends. As for today, should someone bring up telling us he/she/they want a romantic reationship with us, even before having fun togheter... we would run away, as fast as we can! Again, this has nothing to do with being swingers or keen to poly relationsips. Before marrying, when I meet a gal, I was looking just for fun, if she were leaning on me with her expectations for a relationship, I'd have run. And when I meet my wife, we was up to have fun for a weekend that turned into the longest weekend ever. When we engage in a poly relationship, we had this girl friend, swinger, we enjoyed hanging up togheter and at some point we realized it was way more than just having fun. So, I have no clue on how to "make this happen" or "make this work". I think you just cannot devise an plan beforehand such a relationship. At most, to be up to let it happen... when and if it happens.