Leaderboard

We are in our late 50s and married for many years. Hubby suggested swinging 5 years ago, I said, “OK, let’s give it a try.” It has been a fun, hot, sexy, educational, and life changing experience. We really lived the lifestyle. We did lifestyle activities most weekends for those 5 years. Early this year, our swinging lifestyle came to a crashing halt when I found the painful herpes sores on my labia. Hubby has been great as I knew he would. His words to me were…….That is it. We are done swinging. Don’t worry about it. We will be fine. He made a special point to thank me for giving him the chance to live out his fantasies. Did we do everything we could to avoid an STD? No, we did not. We made choices that gave us what we wanted from swinging. We knew there were risks, but like most people, we hoped the odds would be in our favor. Life goes on. I have had no more outbreaks. Fingers are crossed that my immune system keeps the virus dormant. I must be honest and say that we really miss swinging. We still think like swingers. Swingers do see the world differently, and we still like the view. Now we go out to dinner every Saturday night, because that was our main swinging night. It is much too depressing to stay home on a Saturday night for us. I have been reading this board for all of the 5 years we were swinging but under a different name. I thought I would not want to read here anymore, but I find I can’t stay away. Once a swinger, always a swinger is true. I can’t think any other way even now. I hope all of you successfully avoid STDs in the lifestyle.

We usually didn't swing close to home, so anytime we got together with anyone, we ended up staying over close by. The very first time we did a full swap was at our own house, actually and our first remarks were along the lines of "Why the hell did we wait so LONG to do this?! That was freakin' awesome!!" The very first swinging encounter - soft-swap - was at a couple's house. We stayed over at their place that night in the spare room. OMG, we couldn't stay off of one another! Not a lot of talking going on at all then... On the way home though we rehashed the whole thing in excruciating detail and talked about what we liked and didn't like. What we loved and what we were afraid of. I remember one weekend, way back when we were first exploring the possibility of swinging, that we talked about my fantasy of being with another woman. At the time, a friend of mine was going through a rough time in her marriage, and she stayed overnight one night. Our kids were the same age, so it was a kiddie sleepover. I knew she was curious about bi-sex, too, so there was some...strange tension at bedtime. Nothing came of it, of course (kinky sex + kids on the premises = bad situation) but upon sharing the idea of getting it on with this friend of mine, I'm surprised that our sheets didn't spontaneously combust. We sent our daughter to Grandma's house for the weekend and the whole weekend - and I mean quite literally 2 days straight - we ate, we slept (a little), we used the bathroom, and we screwed. Any talking we did was about the fantasy. I'm not exaggerating here. I was totally exhausted by Monday. And sore.

Our first experience was about an hour drive away, and the conversation was incredible!! I think it started the minute we backed out of the driveway, and continued the entire drive. It's difficult to say who spoke first as we were both eager to share how we felt. It took the detail of our communication to a whole new level. Not only was it an awesome "session debrief", but it made us hot and excited all over again, resulting in more hot play at home. It is something that we look forward to every time now, providing a good opportunity to "reconnect" with each other, and get all hot and bothered all over again!

My ex and I had become involved in the lifestyle in 1996 and after we were divorced in 1999 i had a few lifestyle encounters. About 2 1/2 years ago I met a married lady from AFF and this meeting was with the full encouragement of her husband. I initially met her for brunch and we hit it off well and a few days later I meet both her and her husband at their home. They explained that for 30 years they had had a relationship with one male friend who was a co worker of the husband. Initially that was a purely social friendship, that, over a few years lead to an intimate one. That person moved over a 1000 miles away and was more or less unavailable to them. Because that friendship had been so valuable to both she and her husband, both her old male friend and husband encouraged her desires to make a new similar friendship. (I and the husband and previous friend are straight) Our first intimate encounter was a threesome and after that it is usually just she and I together while he is either watching TV in an other room or out shopping, etc. Occasionaly he will join us after she and I have have some "quality time", and usually the evening will end with the three of us having coffee and desert together. On some occasions we all will go out to dinner, etc, for a purely social encounter What had started out as a swinging activity has developed into a close social friendship as well, and, is still strong as ever 2 1/2 years later. From chatting on-line, as well as reading postings on both swinging and poly sites, it would seem that relationships which started out as swinging do develop into poly type friendships at times. Also many social friendships progress to intimate ones with poly characteristics. Swinging and poly are at each end of a spectrum and attempts to define a particular relationship can be difficult. While the three of us have a poly friendship we are also open to selective and limited swinging situations and have on two occasions the three of us met with one other couple. One of my, as well as their criteria, is that we would not plan to be intimate with anyone with whom we would not also feel comfortable with socially as well.

It's one thing to trust your partner's assertion of selectivity, foolish or not, but I don't know how one can even begin to trust every other person that the partner plays with. It's foolish to assume every person that person has played with are ALL selective and can somehow weed out those with HSV2 just from their tremendous selectivity. I've been debating this concept of trust and safety and how it relates to oral sex, use of condoms and other STD preventative measures. Condoms or other barriers are absolutely no guarantee, especially if the same aren't used for oral sex. So, perhaps one should just have sex with those they "trust". Yet, even if one were to trust their partner, trust for one person just cannot be extended to everyone else that person has had sex with. If it's already foolish enough to trust one partner's judgment based on this arbitrary "I'm selective" about relative strangers, then it's completely foolish to trust their other partner's judgment about everyone that person has had sex with, and so on. So, by default, the partner one might want to trust, can't be trusted either. Sigh. If I think too much (which is pretty much all the time) about this, I end up in the "maybe it's just not worth it" or I think I need to fuck in a HazMat suit. There is certainly plenty to think about in this thread and forum about safety and risk tolerance (or lack thereof). Kudos to those few whom have disclosed their status and stories and take responsible steps regarding their status. That kudos is not extended to the couple that does not disclose their status and knowingly exposes others. That is just incomprehensible to me, and there's not enough bandwidth for me to express my dismay and disgust at that practice. Thank you 50sLady and TooMuchFun for sharing.

Our first experience was at a club and we had a 90 minute drive home afterward. The 'jumping out of the skin' remark earlier comes to mind, as well a lot of one word sentences... 'wow'... 'damn'... progressing to three worders, .... 'that was amazing', etc. We talked mostly about her side of the experience because, as I was to find later, she wasn't thrilled with mine as it, well, involved another female who made the mistake of complimenting me in front of her. That's a different thread. Once we got into her story, details, her feelings, how she enjoyed him, and my questions, we were overdosing on adrenalin. We'd been married ten years at the time and after arriving at home around 2am we suddenly realized that the light spilling into our bedroom was the morning sun. We had found something very new and exciting in each other.

There are many risks they share in common, as you say, but the in a most important way single players are very different from marrieds. The risk of sharing your spouse sexually has no parallel for singles. Singles don't have to trust someone with their spouse, they don't have to trust their spouse, and they don't have the relationship risks and challenges. This adds up to a huge difference, IMO. When people in a committed relationship agree to share each other sexually, the sharing is between them, even though the sex is with others. It's a gift they give to each other: the gift of sex with others. There is nothing of the kind for singles. Doesn't make one better, or more "real", but it does make the whole thing very, very different in nature. We are all part of the lifestyle, but strictly speaking, only committed partners can "swing".

I'd been swinging since the '70s with various women I dated. When L and I first got together, she never had, but she was full of excited, curious questions. She loved the thought of instant sex with whomever. On our third date I took L to an adult bookstore, her first time inside one. In the video arcade, she did 4 guys -- one right after another -- in a video booth. A big, big first for her. Pretty hot for me, too. As we left the place, we were no sooner out the door when she exclaimed "No WONDER so many people love this!" The air crackled with L's excitement. We didn't make it home. Went to a nearby motel and screwed each other's brains out for several hours. It was hot, hotter than anything she'd ever done. And one of the hottest things I'd ever done. We couldn't wait for more. On our fourth date, needless to say, we started out at the adult bookstore again. We've been playing ever since. Our various adventures are not only good sex, they make us hotter for each other, and we enjoy sharing the excellent experiences. We still joke about her initial reaction: "No WONDER so many people love this!"

our first experience was at a nudist club and when we left for the night we just looked at one another and smiled. Hubby said "that was freaking awesome" !!! We laughed and have used the same phrase ever since!!!

We got in the car and closed the doors. Mr. Fuse looked at me, grinned a *huge* grin, and said "Well, honey, we're swingers!"

I have to say it was about equal for me. I had already enjoyed my bisexuality many times over before getting into swinging so we didn't do it so we could explore it since it already had been explored. To me it was about being with other people in general, male or female giving a ton of different combinations of kinky things we can do