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Just a quick question.... Is it a good idea to link screen names together? For example.....your screen name for this board is it the same for SLS, SDC,AFF and ect.... Or, is it better to have them all different in case you meet someone on a site that you don't really care for and if you have the same screen name then they will be able to find you on the other sites? Our screen name for this site is different than our SLS but we were thinking of changing this one to match that one. Good, bad or indifferent? Thanks, funforall

The real reason we don't have a universal swingers symbol is nobody really cares. You have several hundred clubs operating individually. Hundreds of online social groups. A few lifestyle organizations. None of them really care to get together and make up a symbol. I think that is the basic reason. Nothing else.

I'm just sick of being hammered with single male emails! Single men are a dime a dozen, any woman or couple has their pick, with plenty to share. I agree with bear and bunny for the most part, any couple can walk into any bar and pick a single male up for free. We are looking for the couples and unicorns, but if we want a single male, we will find you! I think the single men should stop being so pushy!! We have stalkers on SLS and AFF. Look, if you are wanted, we will tell you, and if we tell you yes, and that we will give you a weeks notice of when we can play, take it as "Stop buzzing us everytime we turn im on, and quit writing daily emails asking to keep you in mind, or if I'm sure J wouldn't go for 1-on-1!" The bad apples ruin it for the singles to the point that we would rather pick up a single vanilla in a bar, than deal with any swingles (as I sometimes call them) on a site. I'm sorry, but that is my blunt answer....

It's still missing the option of: EWW! My parents never had sex. I was born out of immaculate conception!

I’m writing this as a guy, so I hope that this helps you out. Guys are conditioned to keep things to themselves, mainly because our experiences tell us it is best to keep our mouths shut! Throughout our lives we have gotten a lot of grief from the women in our lives when we spoke completely openly and honestly with them. And being a closet bi-sexual male is one of those absolute taboo things. He has probably been Bi for many years and fears the repercussions of telling you his true desires. I try to be completely open and honest with my lady, but it is difficult. Difficult because I have to overcome 50 years of fear. I do it, but it is difficult. It is really difficult to do it face to face sometimes, even now. The challenge for you is to convince him that he can tell you the truth without repercussions. We are all emotional beings, and when talking face to face we are hearing the words but also reading your body language. We are watching for that slight flinch or we might misunderstand an expression on your face while you are thinking about what we just said. The method that my lady and I have worked out is that we talk about difficult subjects via e-mail to each other. It allows each of us to take the time to think about what the other is saying and respond while dealing with our emotions. It works for us. Also, it is probable that your husband has had Bi encounters in the past, most likely in the couple of years that the two of you were separated. He may be having Bi encounters now. You will need to deal with that possibility in advance so you are already prepared for “the worst,” and you will be prepared to not have a shocked look on your face at the time that he comes out with what he really desires. You need to let him know that you are ok with it and that you want to share your desires as a couple. I am not actively Bi myself. I had a few encounters many, many, years ago as a young man. My lady knows about it, so it isn’t an issue with us. Hopefully this will be of some help to you, and good luck! Let us know how it goes.

I know that one person's comments can be devastating, but if you took a survey of others you'd been with, they'd come up with multiplicity of things they enjoyed about you... some are likely things this a-hole disliked.

This sounds like you asked him to try, or do this for you. Did you bring this up first, out of conversation and he said no and then while he was doing research privately, you found out? or did he do this research first privately, then you found out, and then you requested him to try this because you found it erotic?? So you guys are talking about this, and that is good. I think personal bisexuality was one of the hardest subjects we ever found in this lifestyle to talk about. The hardest was letting out how we felt. I had seen that because I fantasized about MFM play. At that time, the first info I found was that by having this kind of fantasy there were gay tendencies buried in my subconsciousness somewhere. Until I had really taken a hard self examination about my sexual thoughts. I couldn't have talked about how I felt or what I feared. The fact was I didn't know. I tried to understand and tried different ways to test myself the best I could. I would secretly look at guys and well, try to feel any kind of attraction. Just everyday men in life. O.k. I found nothing there. Then even looked at some of Mrs.fun's magazines in private, and tried so hard to bring up any kind excitement... Nothing. This was my personal research at the time. Mrs.fun at that time had know idea what I was doing or ever found out accidentally. You know for men there is allot to fear with this. I personally have always felt no attraction to men. I don't really understand what makes a man attractive to women. I just see men as the unattractive species. I could not look at myself in the mirror and make a change with my own appearance and say, Oh, I look more attractive like this. I can only say that for me, I have to get a woman's opinion. So for men, without cutting down the whole population. I just think we are all unattractive. I just cant get any kind of stimulation from a male. All the way to our MFM experiences. I have been close enough to men naked and tried to get any kind of sexual feeling and again... Nothing. If you put ugly Suzan and John Travolta side by side, I see attractiveness in Ugly Suzan I could have sex with her... John... NOTHING. Limpy is what he would get. I know this may not be a science explanation, and maybe even a poor explanation of what and how, I found out about myself. But those are my feelings and what I found out. So I know inside without a doubt how I feel. My feelings didn't match the information I had found. Fortunately those ideas were not the only reasons.. There are allot of men like me. That don't get anything from the men we are around. One time when I asked Mrs.fun for girl on girl play she said "would you play with a man for me" if I wanted that? This was a very serious question. Would the reward be worth price paid. Could I even do it? I knew by then about myself, that one of two possibilities could happen, if it we're a you do it, I'll do it trade situation.. I could find two bi or gay men, and ask them to do this for my wife. Or, the least of my choices, and this would be very, very hard to do. Was to put on an ACT. It would only be acting. So she wouldn't be getting what two men who actually have those feelings could provide. It would just be acting. This was also when I (got it) more understanding about bisexuality. Men and women, can have a sexual feeling toward the same gender. Even to a point of emotional relationship. For myself, this was a scary investigation. I hid my thoughts and the fact that I had questioned myself. The fear of being discovered what I was doing and being gay or even labeled gay. In a mans world this could threaten everything even to a point of being outcast. Or even killed. It has happened. I hate to sound chicken, but like they say, "if your scared, say your scared." That's the whole deal. It is scary. If you don't know or understand how you feel. I had to look at this secretly first. He may just need his privacy. This is what throws me off track. At first you say he will go along with this. Now you say you will go along with this? I'm not the brightest bulb in the package, and I just don't understand what happened first? Is there a point that he says, he does have sexual feelings for a male? But he wont talk about his fantasies or his complete understanding? I know when I was trying to understand myself. If you would have asked me then. My answers would have been I don't know, and I would have been honest. I didn't know or understand. I would have been the one to say "I don't want to talk about this." I would fear exposure most. This sounds like maybe from the past as you mentioned, perhaps there was something in the past that would cause him to not trust you. Like something where you exposed him or humiliated him. This is a very hard thing to look at as a man. This takes a lot of trust. Maybe trust that needs rebuilt on your part. This is hard for a man to talk about something like this. Is there a way that you could let him test you to rebuild some trust. Like buy him a toy to experiment with, or a magazine, a movie. And show him that he could trust YOU with his secrete. In that situation you have purchased the items and If during your trust building period he could, if ever exposed, check out and say YOU bought them. Not him, Their yours. Like I say, this would be tough enough in a good relationship, let alone a relationship where he was exposed in some way in the past. I hope my rambling in some way helps. We men are not all alike. These are just my thoughts. I know for me I had to hide all of this and I'm not gay or bi so I could only imagine how much trust and secrecy he would need from you, trying to take this a step farther.