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I know it's attempted murder in some states to have aids/hiv and spread it/not tell a partner. And doing that and doing what you are doing, is absolutely disgusting to me! Sorry, but I think you should have to wear a sandwich sign to any public on or off premise club, night club, bar, and so on! How can you do that to people????? I pride myself on never having had a std, I do not have any form of unprotected sex with anyone who doesn't have regular testing between partners and right before we meet! Show me the papers, I show mine! THIS IS FRACKING NASTY AND YOU WILL GET YOURS SOMEDAY FOR GIVING A FRACKING DISEASE TO PEOPLE WHO ARE STRAIGHT-FORWARD AND HONEST WITH YOU! LEARN ABOUT YOUR DISEASE!!!! YOU CAN SPREAD IT WITHOUT HAVING ANY SORT OF SYMPTOM! people like you make me sick!!! I know I'll get a bad rating for this, but this is fucking pitiful and people like this poster should be fucking shot, nasty sob!!! I would physically hurt/possibly murder/without a doubt would shoot them in the genitals, anyone who did something so absolutely disgusting as to lie and infect me!!! I have a temper... and a snub-nosed S&W 38, did I mention that I'm an awesome shot?! I'm not normally violent, but frack with my health and you WILL END! fucking nasty asses! It's because of people like you, that people like 50'slady, end up with this shit!!!! 50'sLady, It was very brave for you to come out and be honest like that!!!! There are a lot of good people who end up with herpes( and then there are the piece of shit fuckers---like I just ranted about), you can still swing after all,, there are a lot of people with it--that are not nasty(like above). I hope you find it in you to get back into the lifestyle, you are honest and not alone! I'm sorry it happened to you!

Just a quick note to the couple who doesn't disclose that information to potential play partners. There are some states where there are laws against knowingly passing on a STD. For you or anyone else who is infected with anything and decides to take those risks with other peoples health, you better take a good long look at your states laws and find out besides being jerks, if you can also be arrested for passing along an STD. I know if it was me and I got something from someone who knowingly didn't tell me ahead of time about the extra risk involved in playing with them, I would use the laws in my state in my favor. I won't go into personally what I think of people who wouldn't say anything and just play anyway. To those of you suffering from any STD, especially those brave enough to bring up the discussion here, you have my sympathies. I hope that some day soon they find a cure for Herpies and all STD's and this won't always be an issue for you. What a wonderful lifestyle swinging would be if the only complication we had to worry about was pregnency and the occasional jealous/insecure spouse. Trish

The only thing I have to add (as the wife in a somewhat similar situation) is for you to help him recruit a girlfriend. As the girltalk, even among vanilla women, eventually turns to sex, I talk up hubby. What a good lover he is. This approach has been a slow go, but exciting. Hubby and I also use it to fantasize about friends, acquaintances, co-workers, college students, waitresses. Thus far, we are on our third and longest term girlfiend for David. The first two lasted just short of a year (it was a rebound after a divorce) and 18 months, but both eventually wanted more than being the other woman and moved on. His current gf is a busy, ambitious woman and this situation fits her well. I am not bi, and none of these women are, but I wanted to watch and the current one is the first that lets me. I am still friends with all of them.

I agree, and it is probably, at least partly, my fault that this topic has taken the journey that it has. But I have to say, while you answered the original question well in your above post, I don't see any possible way this can help someone reduce rejection (with the exception of doing something about their bad breath, but that really is a no-brainer), or how it can help someone hook up with others more reliably. The fact is, while we have all rejected folks for many, if not all, of the reasons you mentioned, their is nothing those people who were rejected could have done about it to have changed our mind at the time. For whatever reason, we just didn't feel attracted to them. The points I am trying to make is based on the following quote from th OP. My point is, their are no common mistakes or pitfalls that result in our being rejected by others. Furthermore, this is nothing like improving your golf game. With your golf game, their is a skill set that can be more easily mastered with help from others. In this case though, you are the way you look, and your personality is pretty much set by the time you are an adult. Additionally, your preferences are pretty much determined by your interests and aren't going to be changed just to have a better success rate at hooking up. And if you are one of those couples that are too much drama for others, you probably don't know it, I have never met one of "those" couples that did. So, their really is nothing you can do about how others perceive you. Would I like to be able to emulate the results of some of the "Don Juan" types I have met, that are able to hook up with seemingly anyone they want at the club? Sure, but it isn't going to happen, because that is just not me. My philosophy, when it comes to improving my chances of hooking up with others for sex is, rejections are not really such a bad thing. The reality is, most folks don't get many rejections, because they are so afraid of rejection that they never ask in the first place. Of course, those same folks don't have much success at hooking up either. Instead, the best approach is to ask everyone you find interesting if they want to play with you, if you get rejected, so what, you are that much closer to the one that will say yes. From my observations, the people who have the best success at hooking up with others are those that aren't afraid to ask. Heck, we are not the sexiest couple to grace this planet, but we have had far fewer rejections than people who agreed to hook up with us. When we do have a slump, it has rarely been because we got rejected by people, it was usually because we just didn't ask anyone.

Depending on the situation, watching others can be very erotic. I can't say that I have had the (sneaky peeper factor) except for the time I caught my wife masturbating in the bath tub. I came home early one day and as I walked through the hallway I hear her in the shower. I thought I would just let her know I was home early. As I opened the door I heard her talking softly and noticed WOOOW.. she's playing with herself.. I did walk a way for a sec. But I couldn't resist, the door was still open and I'm I guy,ya know . The way the mirror was angled I could see everything. It was the first time I had ever seen her, or anyone masturbate. Well, I better just stop with that... I cant type with a hard on. The thing is, this was no acting, she didn't know I was there. Its wasn't about the porno visualization of pussy shots or close ups. It was all about, imagining.. what she was fantasizing about. Seeing her in total ecstasy all the way through the build up, seeing her play with her nipples and touching herself. What she was saying in a whisper, and then... the orgasm:drool: I didnt want to startel her or anything like that, so I just made noise and came in, got in the shower with a very hard dick and told her later . With all other situations I have seen some that are very erotic and others when perhaps just a little to much performance,well.. kinda killed the show. The ones I find to be the most exciting are when you see someone having sex and they are really focused on themselves and fully enjoying the sex. Instead of trying to put on the show. I saw one woman being pleased by a few playmates and to be honest, the sounds she was making just drove me up the freaking wall. No shit, If any one would of had one of those ball gags, I would have said " Hey these are cool, you want to try this ? " I swear, thinking of the sounds she was making, I just don't care to ever hear that again. Ill go from one extreme to the other here... My favorite, of all times watching another couple. We were in a group, with several couples playing around us. On my side was a beautiful woman with long blond hair. Yes it was Barby and Ken, right beside us. The smell was unbelievable, Everything was perfect and the room was in full view from where I was at. Then, a couple straight across from us really captivated me. She was on top of him, and they switched positions. He was on top of her and she was leaning back on a couch.. Then she began talking to him in a very sexual way. I was just in awe with amazement the way she was focused on him. No one in the room mattered to her, she was that focused into.. just him. She said the most sexual things in a way that I cant really explain. From giving him guidance, how she felt as the passion grew. At this point my wife was sucking me and looked up at me. I nodded for her to look behind her and we just stopped and watched. It was amazing the way they didn't have a care in the world about what anyone around them was doing, or that we even existed. Everyone around us began watching one by one, until no one was having sex, everyone was just watching them. They were just so... passionate. She talked in a way that she would bring him up, and then slow him down, she would convey what she wanted, where she was at in her mind.. The orgasm was explosive. We all just stood there in amazement.. My only thoughts were to applaud them... They deserved it. There are times also watching others that it just has a porno view to it. Sometimes it seems that they are trying to look good, at what they are doing. They are not so much into their partner sexually as much as giving a show.... and thats o.k. by me, its just different, I guess.. I prefer erotic sexual passion if I'm watching. I like to see the real thing. Then when I think about the times I have watched Mrs.fun. I think of many things. Its different watching my partner all together. There are times she has been with men that its erotic, she stays focused on her partner. Its porno with the feeling of, (I know how that feels- With- now I know what it looks like) She is very, very passionate with sex. When she is with another woman its different altogether. If the women are playing solo and I'm just about the house. Its hard not to get right up in it with them... Its strange, watching the two women that even without any contact, just watching.. My dick gets hard.. Just seeing that. I mean, it stays hard from the sight.It wont go down. Just an observation.. I have driven to the convenience store and back, hard on all the way, just from seeing them.. and thinking. This is strange maybe, but watching my wife. There have been times where I make a comment about how hot she looked and she has said "well I wanted to give you a good show" Now see, thats a stumper for me.. I've known her over 30 years and I just don't get that.. I think, what part was acting or the show. Personally it doesn't matter either way, she is good at it. How does just watching make me feel ? I don't really feel like voyeurism is my thing. I don't care to invade someones privacy and peek. Although, the one time was really cool when Mrs fun was in the shower. I cant just sit there and watch for very long without some kind of involvement. I just like to pay attention sometimes as to whats going on around me. If its passionate, its even better than just a show.

Spend the time on your break accepting yourself as you are and realize that your attitude from within is what's truly going to make you one of the "beautiful" people. Bright eyes, a big smile and a positive attitude is what really makes you sexy. And also remember, swinging isn't a competition, it's about enjoying variety. It would be no fun if everyone was perfect. I had a lot of the same concerns you do at first but when I realized what I wrote above it really made it all easier. I'm now 33, a mom of 4 with all the badges of motherhood, but still a hot sexy mama

The only single men we meet from online sites are black men, but it isn't for any of the reasons that the OP posted about. It isn't because they are better lovers, or because white men can't please me in bed, or because black men have bigger dicks, even though I do prefer very well endowed men. I have been with white men that were very well endowed and great in bed and I have been with black men that were also very well endowed, but sucked in bed. The reason we choose to only meet black men from the online sites we are members of is a numbers thing. There are so many single men and it helps us thin the field. Because we have a very busy life our time to play is somewhat limited and we hate to have our play time wasted. When we first started in the lifestyle it was our experience that the black men in the lifestyle had a better understanding of the lifestyle and were more comfortable in the lifestyle then single white men. I'm not saying that is the case with all black men in the lifestyle, but it was our experience early on. We may miss out on some great white men because of this, but that's just the way it is for us. There are other reasons we are only interested in playing with black men we meet online, but it doesn't have anything to do with their sexual performance or the size of their dick. Some people think we are racist because of our choice, but that isn't the case. We do play with single white men, we just don't use online sites to meet them.

Julie, that philosophy really came from you. I loved how you ran your site with integrity, and stayed true to yourself :-)

jnbsmokin, read the relevant posts before you criticize. V