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I honestly never thought to ask (until it was too late) if any of our partners had cold sores. Just about everyone has cold sores, and I never really thought (although now that I know more about it, my feelings have changed) about the herpes 1 transferring to the genitals. Even though I've known since childhood that cold sores are in-fact a strain of herpes. People kiss all the time, it's crazy, no one things to ask someone for their herpes history before giving them a kiss.... family, swingers, whatever. Oral HSV1 is thought of as an issue only when there is an open sore, I always teased people about their "herpes lips" taking a very light-hearted attitude toward it. Take the same virus, move it downward a few feet and it becomes a whole new ball-game. Sorry, if this post doesn't make sense I'm not trying to make any particular point, I'm just kind of rambling about what I think.

I have to agree with this. My wife and I are newbies to the lifestyle and would fall into the "soft swap" category. For us it was just what our marriage needed. There have been no jealousy issues or any drama at all. We're just taking it slow for now and having fun. It makes us both feel like we're teenagers again and it has strengthened our relationship. We both want to do a full swap but up to now soft swap has been working well for us. It really gets our motors running and then we finish each other off. Gotta walk before you run, right?

Is the info I have right...it takes up to 3 months after exposure for the blood test to show positive for HSV-2? So, jnb, I wonder how safe the tests are? Someone could play last month, take the test and show negative while passing the virus on.....As for protection-- even protected sex didn't help one of the ones here on this thread........ It also made me wonder if that might be why people flirt, tease with you but back out then....they don't want to take the test to find out their status....or they take the test and decide not to tell. We had one couple admit they don't do HIV tests cuz they do not want to know and as long as they feel healthy, they aren't getting any tests to learn otherwise.

Speaking as the female half of the couple, Mr. Sweet no more "lets" me fuck other men any more than I "let" him fuck other women. As Spoo so eloquently stated, we choose to embark on this adventure together, with mutual respect. I've said numerous times around here that the differences between cheating and swinging (FOR US) are knowledge and consent. Consent (to me) means mutual agreement--not permission, per se. But that doesn't address the essence of the OP's question. Why DO we fuck other people? We enjoy the variety of sexual activity with others, and enjoy seeing each other please and be pleased by others. Put simply, it's just plain FUN! =)