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We agree that terms such as 'full swapper', soft swapper', 'watcher', etc are better used as indicators of chosen activity within the main category of 'Swinger'. So -- our answer to the OP is "Why Yes..we are" In our society we seem to have a need for wrapping things up into neat, easy to handle bundles. We are much more comfortable with definative handles for everything..including things that by their very nature are difficult to pin down - but there is truth to the fact that we gotta call it something...and "That thing we do" is kinda clumsy! In our opinion, swinging started out (and remains) as a couple-based activity - kind of a loophole for those who saw monogamy as an emotional concept instead of a sexual one. Singles got involved because in theory, 1 person is easier to add to the equation than 2 is. Most couples who have spent any time in the Lifestyle know that that theory isn't necessarily true. While admittedly we havn't been single for over 25 years, we havn't seen anything to lead us to belive that singles today are doing anything we didn't do. They aren't 'swinging'..they are just doing one of the things that single people do - having non-committal sex with different people they are attracted to. Generally, our society feels that if one is going to be promiscuous, the time to do it is when they are single. The only probable advantages in the 'swinging' lifestyle for singles are an additional emphasis on NSA and possibly reducing the logistics involved. Our definition of 'swinging' is when a committed couple decides to physically involve others in their sex life to varying degrees. This is where we tend to disagree with how many define 'swinging'. We don't consider what your level of activity is as the determining factor in whether or not you are a 'swinger'. If the starting point is accepted societal sexual norms, to us it becomes rather simple. The accepted societal norm for sexual activity between a couple is behind closed doors and only involving said couple. We totally disagree with statements such as,"Soft-swappers aren't swingers" or "Folks into Watch-us-watch-you aren't really swingers". We even consider those who enjoy going to a club and simply soaking up the 'sexual vibe' and then going home and screwing each other into a coma to be 'swingers'. Our response to those who try to designate who the 'real swingers' are is to point out how it happens to work out that the only 'real swingers' are those whose level of activity happens to be the same as theirs. Although there are constants within the 'swinging' culture, 'swinging' activity or style is by no means a static thing... nor should it be. People who start out as watchers, can decide to get into soft-swap. People who start out as soft-swappers can decide to full-swap. And yes, people who have been pretty much anything-goes-as-long-as-it-doesn't-result-in-defibrillator-use can decide to dial it back to just watching.. and it doesn't mean that they have to turn in their 'swingers' card! As a side note, we are often suprised at how many people misconstrue and therefore bristle at the term 'Lifestyle'. Many see it as meaning something that dominates one's activities, incorrectly seeing the inference as being that they aren't interested in anything other than things sexual and the pursuit of same. Personally, we see the term 'Lifestyler' as interchangeable with 'swinger' for most applications.

I had to chime in on this one! Our very first experience was this past weekend. The couple we were with have been in the lifestyle for over 4 years. From my perspective they did several things "right" in working with us. First, we exchanged several e-mails through which we found many commonalities and which helped me decide that we likely would click. We also shared several photos that were not sexually explicit. There were other folks with whom we exchanged e-mails who did come across as a bit more aggressive - both in words and photos, and it did scare me away. Second, we had a very nice dinner together with no explicit expectations of hooking up afterwards. We talked until we realized the restaurant was closing and we needed to go. At this point, we all seemed to really feel comfortable together. Third, we went to a club a couple of weeks after our dinner. We all met at a hotel beforehand, the ladies got changed and had some "girl time" while the guys hung out in the lobby. By the time we made it to the club, we were all really relaxed and had a great time with one another. By the time we made it back to the room, none of us was nervous or anxious at all. The entire first experience was great. Our new friends were perhaps a little more patient with us than some folks would be in setting the pace. But, we can't wait to get back together with them. So, although many newbies, I am sure, are nervous and awkward a first, having a patient and understanding experienced couple can certainly result in an excellent outcome for all!

Lets suffice it to say that because its a LIFE Style that it evolves. Does life stay static? no, it evolves with each new generation, whether it be by thought,physical or deed. In effect you would have to make a living document to define things, would that could change with each ne "generation" that came along. Swingers for the most part like the spontaniousness of the LS and to sit and say this is the rules you have to follow in order to be this or that would not set well and as Julie likes to put it, make it more Contrived.

We look at singles just like anyone else, they are there to have fun and enjoy life as we are. As a male, even though I am married I bring nothing more to the table then any other male in this world. Laura is not my slave, she does not do as I tell her. (not like I am dumb enough to try to tell her). She plays with who she wants and I play with who I want. If that ends up being another couple ok, most of the time not. Neither one is taking "one for the team" and it is very hard to find four people that are attracted to each other. To many feel they have a right because they "brought their wife" to the party. I don't bring her, she happens to come with me. She is not a gift to the party from me. I have no more rights then any other male there. The right to have a good time if I act like a human and make the most of the time. Being married has never got me any extra points at any swing party that I have been to in thirty years. It not ever got me laid either. Me being me, such as that is works for me. People should not use, abuse or treat a single person any different then they would treat anyone else. Male or female. Just seems that many feel they have that right because they "Brought something to the table."

Nope, we have not contracted anything...that we know of as of today... Life is a risk when you open the door to go out in the morning and the fact that a plane did not land on you during the night... So your judment is limited by your experiences and what is visually before you when you sex party...some precautions offer some protection, but nothing is 100% safe...so take a good look before hand and no one should object to a little scurinty and simply ask the question...most will always be up-front with you...but bugs & viruses do not respond to questions so do as Alfred E. Newman said "What me worry?"...otherwise, you are should not be here in the swinger's world.