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Other than the fact we are probably already postive for HSV-1, (no cold sores but that doesn't mean anything-our age = over 90% odds of being positive) it sounds scarier from a physical point of view. HSV-2 doesn't cause blindness and doesn't cause Herpes Encephalitis.(I even saw a possible link being explored between HSV-1 and Alzheimer's!!!) Even though that is only a small risk, it appears to not be a risk with HSV-2. So, I am finding myself agreeing that the big bad HSV-2 is bad cuz people pass it sexually. It's social, not health. Healthwise, it looks from what I'm reading that HSV-1 is the "bad" herpes. Many don't know HSV-1 is as the title states "that pesky cold sore". The rest of the people figure everyone has it. Granted, 10% don't but I can understand not telling people when it's considered something everyone has. I think anyone who might be HSV-1 negative and not want to risk catching it needs to consider asking potential partners if they ever had a cold sore and might want to ask for a blood test -get one yourself too.....(it's not perfect, it is possible to have a negative test but be positive, from what I've read). With HSV-2 again, ask for the blood test and cross your fingers it's not a false negative. The rest of us will probably do exactly that.

OK guys -- I've been following this thread and frankly, it's starting to bug me. I've got my flame-resistant suit on. This thread FEELS to me that those with genital herpes are trying to make either a point, or themselves feel better, by blasting HSV-1 and giving information about why that is as bad as HSV-2. Then there's the discussion about why you should tell people you have HSV-2 but no one discloses the fact that they have HSV-1. (Anything you can pass on that can put sores on my twat BETTER be disclosed before having sex!!) Then there's the discussion about catching something by sitting on a toilet seat -- come on, people, I thought this was all settled in high school! I don't sit on public toilets because they are GROSS, but because of some flavor of cooties. I can't even have that conversation. What we all know about women's anatomy is that because of our warm, wet place, we are susceptible to bacteria. That's why we're told not to stay in wet bathing suits, we're advised against using a lot of perfumie bath products and sitting in baths too long, and the risks of bacteria in hot tubs. THESE ARE NOT STD's. And if you find yourself with a bacteria or yeast infection, there are antibiotics that can be given to CURE you of this. The biggest problem with HSV-2 is that THERE ARE NOT ANTIBIOTICS TO GIVE YOU TO RID YOURSELF, OR CURE YOU, FROM THIS DISEASE. So if you think it's OK not to give me this information before we get naked, even if you're on Valtrex or whatever for your symptoms, even if your not symptomatic at the time, then you're crazy. How DARE you put me at any risk if you have the knowledge that you are HSV-2 positive! What give YOU the right to make that decision for me? Now, with that said, I also know that a lot of us are/could be carriers of the disease, have been exposed to it, have no idea, and could potentially pass it on even if we never have one symptom. I understand that. I get that. I'm not upset or angry about that. I play with people that I think are safe for ME ... if it happens, it does. The likelihood of catching HSV-1 in the genital area is slim. Like someone said above, the studies are all over the place, depending on what angle the author wants to present the information. I would never kiss anyone with an open cold sore. I certainly would not let that person go down on me. I have NEVER heard of anyone catching HSV-1 from someone who does not have an open sore. Could it happen? Of course it could. But guess what? That's a risk I'm OK with. The risk of catching HSV-1 from an asymptomatic person is much less than catching HSV-2 from an asymptomatic person. Any of the studies, no matter what the slant, will suggest this. Comparing HSV-1 to HSV-2 is like comparing oranges and tangerines. They're similar, but not the same. Finally -- 50s Lady -- it's clear that you are very angry, upset, and hurt. You are doing a good job of educating yourself the best you know how, and I applaud you for this. I also think you would benefit from a support group if you haven't already joined one. And I can tell you're sad that you "can't swing anymore." What I don't understand is Why? There are many couples with herpes who play. They disclose that they have it. Why not find some folks who you can play with? I see a lot of profiles on SLS disclosing this, and these couples seem like they have as much fun as they want.

I'm not going to make the obvious arguments about why some single men are single. The rooster comment is one that says "I have a territory to protect and I don't want anyone moving in on that territory." No single man that has had more than two swinging encounters would ever dream of, let alone try, to move in on someone else's wife. Many would not even think about doing anything more than asking a single woman he has just got together with at a club if she would like to meet him somewhere less sexually charged for a date because he has learned that she would have already asked him if that is what she wanted. I'm not picking on you, just pointing out that some generalizations about single men are not based on men who swing regularly (or used to swing regularly) but on the trolls that have popped up more often since 1995 and the proliferation of sexually oriented web sites that supposedly promote swinging but are really amateur film sites with actors and models looking to make money in between mainstream guest spots on CSI or Law and Order. LOL Don't take this so seriously. When you do, you stop having fun and start getting suspicious. In 22 years I've seen it all. By the way, I'm not married because 8 years ago I was dating a woman who was just as ambitious as I was and we moved to different parts of the country to see who would have the better career. For me the internet bubble burst and I haven't found anyone I connect with. She got married a year later to a guy that convinced her to stop swinging. Not all of us, in fact very few of us, don't know how to connect with women emotionally. We are just a little more mature about what that connection means and if its real or just hormones.

I have a question about the single swinger. My wife and I have been actively involved in swinging for about a year. Our experiences have only been with single guys. After we joined AFF and SLS we quickly learned that single guys are only after one thing. There is nothing wrong with that, makes our hotwife interests much easier to pursue, lol. My question is: Is there really such a thing as a single swinger? Single guys wanting NSA sex sounds like every single College/Military guy I ever knew. The swing clubs in our area are very restrictive to single guys, single girls seem to have a free pass but that I think fuels my question, almost everyone wants a single girl, lol. In our adventures we've found that swinging is a couple's adventure that allows single guys to participate. When does the single guy acquire swinger status?