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I was just re-reading Julie's thread on "just because I say hello doesn't mean I want to fuck you." A lot of attitudes folks have about swingers, if they find out you swing, is they'll fuck anyone. Do us swingers think that too? Did the recipient of Julie's email take the fact that they received an email that she'll fuck anyone? Then I was thinking about the response threads that reminded us all that sites like SLS are hookup sites, and if you receive an email on those sites, the implication is that you may want to hook up with them. Interesting. When I get those emails, and when I send those emails, the first stage is an exploratory stage. To determine if there's a connection. I don't necessarily think, at first, there will be a hookup (a lot of the time I hope so! LOL). I look at SLS as a directory of like-minded folks who accept swinging. As most non swingers, and even some swingers, think that swingers will do anyone, do they also think all gay people will do anyone? With those attitudes and thought processes, does it then mean that all hetero people will do any other hetero? Do all vanillas do any vanilla? Will bi women do anyone? I like to think of "us" as progressive thinkers. After all, we've all thought through sex and having sex outside of our relationships. That, I think, is pretty deep. So why do we still get caught up in such close-minded attitudes? Why do we find ourselves thinking that swingers will fuck anything or that gay people will fuck anything? This also parlays into the attitude towards bi-males in the lifestyle. Dear straight guy: guess what? Mr. bi doesn't do everybody either ... he can resist you, I just know he can.

What can be said here that hasn't already been said so many times in so many ways? For some people, body parts matter more than anything else - but do you really want to be with those folks? I read some of your other posts and I see a pattern that clearly shows a strengthening in your self confidence over the past few months. It's confidence that other people find attractive, and it often over rides appearance. Relax and have some fun with this adventure.

many people do think that gay people will do anyone of the same sex. it's one aspect that causes homophobia in people (the silly thought process of "I'm scared of gay guys because if I bend over in front of them they may rape me".) Vanilla's don't have this stigma attached. why? because they think each other "normal", despite that couple liking it doggy, that one with the lights on, and that one enjoys porn. the reason I think that swingers, like Gays, are seen as "they'll fuck anyone", is that being a swinger, and being gay, is attaching an identity to a person based on sexuality. a vanilla may be identified as a "teacher" a "mother" a "friendly guy" or whatever, but those labels are not sexual. we swingers, just like gay guys and girls, may be any or all of the labels given to "vanilla's", but because people who aren't sexually open can't move on from the sexual aspect of the identity, they assume it overwrites all aspects of that persons life. in my opinion, the difference between the "vanilla's" and "swingers" "sl*ts" "players" and the openly gay is that Vanilla's are obsessed with sex, but try to repress it. we are openly sexual.