Leaderboard

Hello Magemouse and . As you can probably tell, being a single man in swinging is not an easy task. It CAN be done. Some suggestions for you are... Never contact a couple unless they specifically state in their profile that they play with single men. Be yourself, no one likes a fake. Change the pictures on your SLS profile...a smile will go a long ways. You are in an area the has a GREAT club that does allow single men to attend. If you go to a club, follow their rules and allow the regulars to get to know you. Never be pushy. Join a yahoo group or some of the groups on SLS that allow single men. Some of these groups throw regular house parties that singles are invited to. Singles tend to have better luck at house parties than at a club. Realize that there are a LOT of couples who do enjoy single men but, there will always be those that think single men have no place in swinging. Right or wrong it's the way things are and something you will have to learn to deal with. Always show respect. You've found the best place to gather information on swinging there is. Read over as many of the threads/post in the Single & Swinging forum as you can and if you have any questions, never hesitate to ask. Teresa

Magemouse... I've been doing this swinging thing off and on for 22 years. The one thing I've learned is that on any given night I have a better chance getting laid by someone I met in the grocery store than by someone I met on a swing site or the rare swing club I decide to visit. Why? I'm more myself at the grocery store than in a swing environment. Think about it. In one situation you are doing what comes naturally, and women respond to that. In the other situation, you are trying to do everything right, and women respond to that, also. Negatively. Nobody likes to be around someone who tries too hard. It convey's insecurity and insincerity. Don't try so hard. Also, it has been my experience that when single men (myself included) think about swinging, they either fixate on the sex part, or they try to put the sex part on the back burner and get to know the people they are meeting. Look, eveyone who swings is doing it for the sex. Not the friendship, the chance for a long term relationship, or feeling of belonging to something bigger than themselves. Its about sex. Admit to it, and move on. Don't dwell on it, and don't try to ignore it. Thats being insincere. If you learn how to be yourself, you will swing. Yes, being yourself doesn't work in dating (lol), but this isn't dating. You are not trying to meet a potential lifetime partner, so you don't have to make her want you over other men. You just have to make the couple or single woman trust you enough to let you have sex with them. Thats where most single men fail. They approach it like dating. Even with single women who swing, the first thing you have to do is put them at ease and make them see you as someone they can trust. By that time, most objections they have towards you will be about things you can't control, like you looks or age. Lastly, don't take this so seriously. I've read so many post by newbies who get frustrated because the porn sites didn't deliver on their promises. I turned down sex with three single women this week. That is two more than the number of couples I wrote to on SLS in the last year. Its all in the attitude. With the right attitude, you don't have to look for sex, you just have to make your self available for it. (ugh...I thought the new name would eliminate the novella posts LOL)

Just be patient with your husband. Most men will not admit to having sexual fantasies about another man. I love to watch gay porn and I have told the male half of the couple that I date that I would love to watch him be with another man. I don't think that I would want to watch him have sex with another man, but the thought of him receiving oral makes me hot. I don't know if he will ever do it and I don't know if I will look at him differently if he does. I guess we will have to wait and see. I guess you should know that you could be "freaked out" if your husband is with another man. But if you open the can of worms then you have to be sure that you are going to be o.k. with it in the end. You can't say "it's o.k. for you to do this" and then turn around and say "I can't believe you did that". Just be careful, be sure and have fun.

I'm with Julie, could you explain more of what you are looking for ? Are you wanting a profile review ? Your picture is kind of cute in your profile, but I don't understand your needs ? Could you add to your post ?

You're much nicer about it than I would be. I would probably call him up and tell him what great time my wife had, and how she can't stop talking about it even to her friends. I would tell him that one of them would like to join us at our next get together, and hopefully experience his "9 inch cock" up-close and in person. I would ask if he "would mind bringing his video camera?" so we could all have some memories of the wild evening we were planning! Then I would ask him to reserve a really posh hotel room in downtown San Francisco, and to plan to meet us there, and to spend the night. I would suggest one that costs at least $200-$250 per night, as "this other woman we're bringing is definitely high-bred, and won't stay in a cheap hotel." I would of course offer to split the cost with him 50/50, payable to him in cash when we got there. At our agreed upon meeting time, I'd call him at the hotel and make sure he'd checked in to the room. Then I'd explain that we were running a little late, and "would he mind having a couple bottles of Champagne waiting on ice, so we can start the party as soon as we get there?" "Champagne makes the girls giddy" I would explain. "Just leave it on the room tab, and we'll settle up later." I'd tell him we were "on our way," and would be there "in about 20 minutes." Then I wouldn't show up. I wouldn't even answer my phone for an hour or so - long enough for him to be charged for the room AND the Champagne. When I did answer my phone, I'd say - "Sorry, the girls couldn't make it. They had to catch a plane to Beijing or something, so I went home. Enjoy your evening in fag-town with your hundred dollars worth of bubbly and your $250 turn-down mint, asshole!" Yea, payback is a mother-f*&^%r!