Although we don't feel we speak for everyone, we do suspect that "married male without permission" pretty much limits any possible positive responses to your post. While your situation is undoubtedly one that we would not want to be in, it's also one that we know is a possibility and have a very clear idea of how we hope we would address it.
If you do not have 'permission', then it's a reasonably safe assumption that if she found out, she would be terribly hurt. Even if we were to set aside the many other issues involved, we would consider that hurt to be an incredibly crushing and unnecessary addition to the pain that has already been visited upon someone we loved.