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Hate to beat a dead horse, actually hate to beat anything dead, or alive for that matter, but isn’t Herpes just some ordinary “infection” kind of like cold. From what I read about Herpes, “If you've done your herpes homework, you also know it won't kill you, and it probably will not cause serious health problems later” this is straight from WebMD Your biggest fear is the imperfection that comes with the label. Me personally, labels belong on a bottle. I’d have to admit it’s not nice to spread herpes, but what are we to do, should we now be constantly tested for it? Before anyone jumps down my throat, just be certain that you can contract other dangerous “sex” diseases, but we all know that most of us in this club use common sense and just wrap it, barrier it and ask questions. To some of the outsiders our lifestyle is too be punished, and Herpes is one of the avenging Swords of Justice, more like Revenge. People like to condemn other than compliment what they find too foreign. Republicans hate Democrats, Democrats hate Conservatives, Conservatives hate Liberals, Islam hates Christians, Christians hate the Jew. The list of hate is too long, and now we have Vanillas on the side lines saying Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah to people like 50sLady. Personally other then the painful sores on her labia, I think 50sLady feels more ashamed than anything else. Should she be ashamed? Should she swear off the lifestyle? Should she point her finger at Hubby and say, “Told you so”? For the first instance, I ask what she has to be ashamed of. The answer is nothing, she enjoyed the swinging, the sex and the people. From her own words she admits she can’t stay away from the lifestyle. As for blaming someone else for your actions, that’s just displacement of blame. Again, from what I read about Herpes, and not only from this site but more from a medical site such as WebMD, Herpes is just like a cold. Some colds are nasty, others only give you the sniffles. Stress seems to be the dominate factor here. Stress of the disease if you can call it that, to stress of the label of not being perfect. Let’s be serious, all of the men cannot be like James Bond, Indiana Jones or Jonathan Rhys Meyers. It’s not only impossible, it’s ridiculous. All of these men, two being factious and the last a real human all have some defect either physical or a defect in character. And all women cannot be picture perfect, it’s not natural. Nor is it desirable. For me this lifestyle is all about imagination and a good time. Can I help a woman have a good time? I wonder what she’s like if I do this or that, or squeeze here, lick this way or that way? These are all the questions I ask when I’m with a woman. I don’t think, gee, she’s a little bottom heavy, her tits lay a certain way, her pussy lips are too big, or too small. I look past all of this and concentrate on how to help her have a good time. For me it’s all about the woman and what they want. My needs are always secondary. As statistics show, there are so many people with Herpes that it is like saying somewhere someplace on planet Earth there must be about a billion people with a cold at this very moment. So 50sLady, don’t stress an imperfection, look towards just being careful and communicate. Just follow the rules of when it is painful for you and don’t stress out.

As a single female, I tend to get a little self conscience about the single women questions since we seem to have a reputation as being ugly, psycho or having some other issue that makes it impossible for us to be in a relationship. But, I have too much time on my hands today and decided to chime in. The question of single females and emotional issues intrigues me. Out of all the people I have met at the club, I can't imagine anyone knowing me well enough to be aware of whether I have emotional issues. Maybe it is more of an issue finding people online with the emailing back and forth and such, but in the club, it seems more of a hit and run situation. (Not in a bad way). I have only met one couple online, we emailed a few times, ate dinner and shared a hotel room for a couple of hours. The next week, I couldn't decide whether to email them as a follow up since reading here about all the psycho, needy, drama crap and the single woman. I think reading here about the opinions of single woman makes me question even simple etiquette. (I did email them, all was well, Mrs. Manners doesn't have a chapter on this stuff). I guess the club just works better for me, it seems a very isolated situation that has no carry over into my "normal" life. I get dressed up, go do my thing and then return to my life. I just tend to grin more than others in my social circle. Maybe I am one of those woman in a "transition" period that a previous poster referred to. I imagine I could be in a relationship if I chose, I am just not at a point where that is a priority. I am sane and sober, I don't drink at all which is interesting itself at a swinger club. I figure I have to be OK with what I am doing as I can do it stone cold sober. I am not terribly disfigured and I show up shaved, shampooed and shiny! I wish I had a tad more of that diva attitude everyone speaks of single females having. I tend to be more on the shy side and I never assume I am the answer to someone's prayers. I am just a lady hoping to have some happy naked time after a hard weeks work!