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First of all, they guy is asking for feedback. He didn't do anything as far as I could tell in his post. Yet, some of you are vilifying the guy for just posing the question. It's a tough situation to be in for sure, and he's looking for a viable solution, not looking for you all to crucify him or treat him like a leper. I see some of the women write their scathing remarks to this guy, not really understanding his situation. His wife is going through something that probably a good portion of us have witnessed in our own families, but the fact of the matter is, someone is not getting that physical contact that is so desperately needed in a relationship. Whether intentional or unintentional, the lack of sexual interaction can be detrimental to anyone's psyche. What is he supposed to do if he talks to her about his needs and she says no, which would be understandable given her circumstances? Is he supposed to jack of for the rest of his life? Jacking off may be a short term solution, but even that gets old. Is he supposed to just turn off that libido as if it is a light switch? It's easy to cast stones when they're not being thrown back at you. Easy up on the guy.

I know I don't post much on this board, but I have to say something here. First, I agree with all the replies, they are saying the same basic thing, just in different words. I have a hard time believing anyone would send the original post and be serious. Who could believe they would get any support for that from this board. The other questions I have are, if you were in the lifestyle before, and now you are remarried but you say she never did have any desire, why did you not know that was a problem before you married her? Second, going back to you having been in the lifestyle before, YOU of all people should know the first thing to do is TALK to her about what you are feeling. I can assure you, if either one of us couldn't provide sexually, due to illness, for the other, we would be talking about it and finding a solution that worked for BOTH of us.

Yep, I agree with the rest of yall. Unless you have been in a major agricultural accident, you already have a way to get the sex that you "need". It is called your hand! Mrs. Couple had some pretty severe female problems which "put her out of commission" for almost a full year. We had already been in the lifestyle when these problems came along, so the change from playing to wacking off (as my exclusive sexual release) was somewhat difficult for me. There were several occasions that I could have had my "needs" satisfied by other women, I would not disrespect my wife that way! Now after all of the medical issues have been "cured" there are additional issues to deal with. After a year of very severe pain and then surgery, I completely understand the dislike of anything touching her there. It will take a long time for the desire to play with that part of the body comes back. If it ever does. But, there is something that will not be lost: She is my wife, and I would not even consider cheating on her. She would have to spend a lot of time convincing me to "take a girlfriend" before I would even do it WITH her permission. I did not marry her for sex, I married her for love. Sex is great, but the love is what I could never live without, I am not about to risk losing that for a piece of ass!

I was just thinking that if I had set up a date with another couple and the woman had called me to explain a situation similar to yours, I would like her right away. I would think that she valued my opinion and placed some of her trust in me already. Plus, her reaching out to me would make her less intimidating to me (I am easily intimidated by other beautiful women). My concern is always with how I will get along with the female half of the couple. I think if the wife in a similar situation as your reached out to me, that would really get us off on good footing. Perhaps, I would like to think, that my positive response to her would make her feel a little more at ease with me, too. Plus, I could give my husband a "head's up" and reduce the discomfort she might experience in feeling like she had to explain anything to him. Just a thought, if you are comfortable talking to her before this evening. Regardless, have fun!!!

I don't think you would have to "make nice" just be nice. "Thanks but no thanks, we don't chat with SM" If the AH comes out in them block them. I've got quite a few couples and SFs blocked on SLS. Jerks and cheaters come in all guises. I don't argue with them, just tell them I am going to block them and then do it. No long drawn out drama and grinding of nerves that way. Kind of like closing the door on a door to door salesman. You say "no thanks" and close the door without slamming it. But, you close it. Which is more productive and less time consuming and wearing on your nerves, blocking AHs or complaining on a forum? But, then again an occasional vent might make some stop doing that, but since we seem to be discussing cheaters and not single males I doubt it will do much good. They're hardly playing by the rules anyway. As far as all SF usually being single on swinger sites or vanilla sites or the bar or the grocery store for that matter. Thanks, I needed a good laugh. Someone said on here once that as long as they had a face pic up they weren't cheaters. Well, not in my world. But, those are long stories and my time is short right now.