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Has your wife expressed her reservations to you. Sometimes, overcoming the reluctance to open up requires patience on your part. I would possibly think the two of you are not open with each other on this topic and other topics of living together. Do you run the family, and she is only the cook? Do you raise your voice and does that offend your wife? Are you pained when your wife cries. Do you know what to do when she cries? Do you know there is a benefit of crying for especially a woman? What is the last thing a woman will get angry about when she comes home from a hard days work. She might ask you to please listen and as she gets into her story about her snotty female bitch of a supervisor, she begins to cry. What do you usually do? Offer to go to her workplace and smash her supervisor's face in? What response would please your wife? Did you know she only wants you to listen? Men are fixers. This fixing ends when the SO woman is crying. Don't get bored. Your job is to listen and even you might say only this: "and how did you feel when she said this demeaning comment?" Notice what the key word is: FEEL. Women are deeply feeling. They will ask a lover or husband to understand them by keeping their mouth shut and not try to fix them. In every case, I know of in failures of mutual open marriage, someone is being ignored. The fun of sexual play is 2nd and never will occur if one spouse downs the other spouse, and does not know how to listen. All marital strife represents a lack of communication between two spouses or two SOs. The nature of life today with subprime debacles shutting down financial institutions and closing factories and jobs will cause more strife in the lives of lovers. I would recommend give up the alcohol. Alcohol and anger produces battered wives and abused children. A man on alcohol is a threat to a spouse. When men wake up, they do not remember what they said or did to their sweetheart. Do a complete inventory of life at home and work on improving this life. Then you might find your spouse wants to play with you at that swing place. She might say "I need your help, and I do this because I love you. Please take care of me."