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No pity here . We like to think of ourselves as equal opportunity swingers Now see, it seems you do just like us. Except for being solo at times. But still, you go with hopes of what you have in mind. But then again sometimes things either change, from finding the one or ones throughout the evening. Or, something or someone unplanned just fortunatly..... Happens! Its all good ! I hate to give a news flash back. But, the last guy we played with has been in the lifestyle probably longer than you have. His partners have great things to say about him as well. How cool, we may encounter him with one of his partners sometime. A full swap. The thing is, we met him solely on the fact that he did want to fuck. At a moments short notice too. So thats why I kind of followed your thread. I cant say he thought of us as hypocrites. I mean come on, we don't always pursue single males, single females or couples... We change from time to time. What we do is, talk about what we want for our fun time out. We are not for or against anything, we just have something that is at the top of our agenda for our time out. We are limited sometimes..... We cant do it all in a night out ya know. I would think meeting you at a club might be an enjoyable conversation. If you strike Mrs.funs interests you may be invited to join us. But if not, Would you think we are hypocrites ? I would hope not ! We may encounter a couple that turns us down. It does happen, because they had their agenda. Maybe they were looking for a certain kind of couple or single, and we just didn't fit their bill. For what ever reasons. Honestly, just like us, sometimes we have found that we miss opportunity because we let the general crowd or atmosphere, steer us away from the one or ones that are interested. I hate to say it, but if we sensed your feelings of judging us as hypocrits..... We might have just walked on by. Hang in there, don't miss people like us, because the people like you are judging, are in the way .

Even at the clubs where single men are allowed, the use of single females as tickets is still very common for exactly the reason of this original post. By adding a female to the mix a single male becomes a couple and then becomes attractive to a much higher percentage of the population. There are many couples who are open to MFM, however a large percentage of those couples are also interested in couples... so a couple at a club is going to have a better chance of meeting people and being interesting to other couples than a single guy will ever have. Take numbers (and I'm pulling these out of my ass). But if you are at a club with say 20 single guys and 200 couples. Out of those 100 couples, maybe 50 of them are seriously interested in playing (if you're lucky). Out of those 50, maybe 5 are interested in ONLY single males, with another 10 interested in both couples and single males (depending on what strikes their fancy). So you've got 15 couples that MIGHT be interested in single men, but 20 single men to fill those 15 slots... now let's get real, out of those 20, 5 are going to be guys who actually GET IT and therefore are guys that those 15 might be interested in... so the other 15 guys are going to be fighting for any attention at all. Couples who want single guys have no trouble finding them at all, whether at a club or elsewhere. As the OP has stated it's not about people being rude to him, it's just that he's noticed a difference in the way that he's treated when he's alone vs when he's there as a couple. From what I gathered from his response, it's not specific actions just the way he feels, which tells me that it's probably not anyone being rude to him, or shoving him aside or even necessarily people going out of their way to ignore him when he's alone but doing quite the opposite when he's there as a couple. As a couple he is more attractive than he is as a single to a higher percentage of the people there (not only does he suddenly become attractive to other couples who are there, but even to other single males that are there). Is it because they all just want the woman he is with? In some cases, perhaps, but in general, I doubt that is the case. The other couples are most likely actually interested in both of them (I know that for us as a couple, we play with other couples where we are BOTH attracted to them - him to the girl and me to the guy, if I'm also attracted to the girl all the better). Just because a couple is not attracted to him ALONE does not mean that he is not attractive just that the couples are not looking for and therefore attracted to single guy. This is also not really a single guy issue, but more an issue of most couples preferring other couples who are in committed relationships because it reduces the possibility of drama they encounter. Add to that that when you are dealing with a "couple" that is not really a couple showing up at a club, you are more likely to have issues with them splitting up and therefore causing other issues. If they show up together, play together and act like a couple, I doubt anyone would notice or care. But, when you show up as a couple then split up and become two singles, you have decieved everyone and it's the beginning of drama.

Thanks to all those who've replied. I'd especially like to thank Lee and Tribbles who took the time to read what I said and not just take it as a single male attempting to get pity. As far as the attractive/unattractive argument, was that even part of what I wrote? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...I happen to prefer larger women, I happen to prefer women who have a bit of a geeky side. But that doesn't stop me, whether as a single or couple, from acting respectful of every new person I meet and welcoming them into the lifestyle (and no, this doesn't mean playing) Some people replying seem to be under the impression that single guys are solely at a club to fuck. Well, here's a newsflash, there are some single males that "get it". I know that may shock some, but there are some out there that would like to be in the lifestyle with someone special, but just hasn't found that right one, so he chooses to go on his own instead of staying away.

I go to the Porsche club meetings to talk to other Porsche owners because I'm interested in how they care for their cars, where the good parts prices are, and (rarely) to share a ride in each other's cars, if we're well acquainted. If some gentleman shows up in a pickup truck and wants to talk about how the Dodge Ram is better than the Ford F-150, We'll be friendly but the Porsche owners won't spend much time talking with him. If he drives in next month in a concourse 928S, he'll get all kinds of attention and so will his car. What's not to understand? Mr. Alura

The club he is talking about I happen to be the host of. EVERYONE is welcome at our club, couples, single men and single women. As long as they know how to respect people. All People! 26 years ago Mike and Chris opened that club with the belief that Swinging was for EVERYONE! They had been Swingers for over 20 years before opening the place and to this day they believe it is still for everyone. No place is there a law or rule that says swinging is for couples only. There are some clubs that are that way and that is fine but at our place everyone is and will be treated equal or you are not welcome there. Simple as that. Two of the biggest and busiest and oldest clubs in the country have ALWAYS allowed single men. Single men should NOT expect to be treated rudely by anyone, no one should expect to be treated rudely by anyone else at a party of any type. Honestly, we have more trouble from SINGLE WOMEN then we have ever had with single men in a club. People with attitudes that ANYONE deserves to be treated rudely have no business in this Lifestyle.

The question you seem to be asking, damayor, is "Why do some people act like assholes?" And I wish I had another answer besides "Because they're assholes." And as such, they don't deserve any of your time or consideration. I agree wholeheartedly with tribbles. Being nice costs nothing, and there are tactful ways of letting someone know you're not interested in playing with them. Doesn't mean you can't be sociable and nice.

I totally agree with you Julie and TNT. And most everyone. I don't see it as a problem. I'll admit to this though. When I was younger, I'd have thought it was my fault. I'm now older and wiser. Things just happen in life and this can occasionally be one of them. A man's attitude about it could be a deal breaker for me. If he could just adapt and go with the flow we wouldn't have a problem at all. Des found a man with a glorious tongue it seems. If it happened to Gator, and it has upon occasion throughout our married life, he'd just show you what a master he is at using toys. They become an extension of him. I'll never be as good at using my own toys on myself as he is at using them on me. Vol

Actually, no, not only does the club owner have no obligation to warn you of this person's rumored behavior, but he could be in some serious financial trouble if he did. The club owners only recourse with customers like this is if you complain about him personally, and your claim is substantiated by other evidence, he can boot him out of the club. But, failing any evidence to warranty kicking him out of the club, their is nothing he can do. But again, under no circumstances can a club owner tell another patron that one of his members has a bad reputation. Spreading unsubstantiated rumors about paying customers would be one of the quickest ways to lose his business that I can think of. I know several people that have been kicked out of one of the local clubs. This does not mean that the next subsequent club he goes to will automatically kick him out. As long as they learned their lesson and behave appropriately at the new club they are fine. If they continue with what got them kicked out of the first club, it usually isn't long and they get kicked out of the next one though. What it boils down to is that, at a club, your interaction with others is solely controlled by you, no one else is responsible for your actions or what happens to you. And, contrary to what some others here have said, under the setting you describe (public play/orgy room setting), we have seen this type of thing happen often. The problem is that in these orgy type settings their is a lot less communication ahead of time. I have seen, many times, someone get pissed when in a public play room when someone they invited to play didn't automatically use a condom. My first question always is, "did you tell him ahead of time that he was expected to use one?" If not, then who's fault is this? Contrary to popular belief, less than half the swinging population regularly insist on condoms for play. Now don't get me wrong, I have seen this type of predatory guy you describe many times. But the fact of the matter is, like the others have said, the only way something will get done about him is if you report it to the club owner. And it is true that it may be your word against his. But even if yours is the only complaint, it will get noted, and if someone else lodges a similar complaint, it won't just be your word against his any more. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me, in this case, if the reason the club owner wants to talk to you is to substantiate a claim someone else has made against the same person.

If the couples were truly "rude" and wouldn't talk to you, my guess is they just were communicating non-verbally what they should have had the class to communicate to you directly: "You're a nice guy, but we don't approve of you coming here without a woman, it makes us uncomfortable and we're worried you'll want a MFM and we aren't looking for that. We don't want you approaching us tonight so we're giving you the cold shoulder and hoping you'll get the message." If I was a guy, I wouldn't be whining about getting the cold shoulder at a swinger's club! That just makes me think about how silly it is when a girl wears a cleavage-baring top and complains that all the men are staring at her boobs. WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? Swinging is primarily a couples sport, and single men don't fit into most couple's fantasies. Why try to turn logic on its head and get all bent out of shape over it? Yes, those couples who ignored you were probably NOT HAPPY to see you on the nights when you came in alone. Chances are, you probably made them feel uncomfortable and you can bet they're complaining somewhere to someone about those damn "single males." There's a reason so many swinger's clubs restrict single males... they're not exactly a good fit based on what the majority of swingers find acceptable... and no one wants to feel uncomfortable. Honestly, I'm surprised there are clubs that even let single guys in. But I guess it is Vegas after all.