It appears we are in the minority here, but we take the position that we don't need to use condoms but will if requested. In reality we usually do use them because I have had a vasectomy but my wife is very fertile. For medical reasons my wife can't take birth control or use the morning after pill and abortion doesn't seem like all that good of an option. So if the male of the other couple isn't fixed my wife lets him know that he needs to put on a helmet.
As far as std's go we have spent many hours discussing it and many more hours researching them, and these are our conclusions.
The one we are most afraid of, would be aids. After reading many studies, many focusing on heterosexual transmition, we have come to the conclusion that given the demographic makeup of the group we hang out with, our chances of getting hit by lightning while walking from our car to the club is much higher than getting aids from somebody while we are there. In our opinion the odds just don't justify a large amount of concern of contracting this desease.
The next most concerning would be hepatitus. This one could be a biggie in the future but for the common strains currently out there, their is a vaccine the gives more protection than would be afforded by using a condom.
HPV, herpes and probably a couple I forgot are currently uncurable, but from my research the protection provided by the use of condoms from the transmition of these is pretty much non existent as they can be easily transmitted by touch or contact.
Then their are the list of std's that can be treated like syphilis, gonerhea (sp?), chlamidia, etc,, These respond well to drugs so while they are a concern I don't think I will lose a lot of sleep worrying about them.
So after studying up on all these things I have come to the conclusion that even though we have sex with others, I'm still much more likely to die of more conventional causes than from an std transmitted through hetrosexual sex.
If we have sex without using a condum, are we taking a risk? Absolutely, but we have come to the conclusion that for the type of partners we choose, the risk is minor and so we generally have decided that it is worth the risk. Some of the most enjoyable things in life carry a risk, I intend to enjoy life to the fullest.