Here's a better analogy, let's say you love Harleys and you love riding them but you don't own one yourself. If you went to a biker bar and were trying to ride other peoples how well do you think that would go over?
Now out of the 100 bikers that are in the bar maybe 3 or 4 would actually enjoy the attention you are paying to their bike and wouldn't mind taking you for a ride on the back of theirs (sharing) for a little spin and would enjoy the company and diversion.
And if you were really nice and hit it off and were showing yourself as sincere and genuine and were a respectfull and responsible person maybe 1 or 2 of those original 3 or 4 would let you take their bike for a spin on your own. But the other 95 would probably rather spit in your eye than let you touch their bike. I don't see this is as being any different in the lifestyle.
If you have been in the lifestyle this long you should already understand this and accept it. If I went to a club without my wife I would fully expect that I would be treated differently and I would accept it. I would also understand that even people we consider close lifestyle friends that we have played with regularly will treat me differently. That may not be right or rosey but it's the reality.
There would probably also be a few people that would come on to me that wouldn't give me the time of day if I was there with my wife also. It's all about preferences and the vast majority of people in the lifestyle prefer couples or single fems.
If you want to be a biker step #1 is GET A BIKE!