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The simple answer to this question is, yes, most swingers I know, whether a couple, or single for that matter, would be offended by someone who assumed they were somehow "special" and expected to be treated with "generosity". And no, I am not trying to attack you personally, I am simply trying to help you understand an important distinction between what it is being a single and dating, and what it is to be a swinger. You are either a swinger or not, whether you are single or a couple makes no difference, a swinger is a swinger. So if you want to be wined and dined, stick to dating other singles. If, on the other hand, you like casual recreational sex with others, don't expect to have the other pay your way, or even offer to. Because you need to understand that they believe you are doing it for the same reason they are. Therefore, it would never occur to your average couple that they should offer pay your way. And it would seriously insult them if they new that you expected them to make the offer. In fact, once you gain more swinging experience, you will probably find that it would be insulting to you if someone did offer to pay your way. The reason for that is that it implies that they are trying to buy your services, or make you obligated to them. And whether they admit it, or even realize what they are doing was trying to make you feel obliged to service them, or not, at some point, that is exactly what they would be doing. It is one thing to buy somebody a drink or cover the dinner check without any expectation or obligation. But once you start having someone pay for your hotel room, travel expenses, or any other large ticket item, you are going to be, or at least feel, obligated to them. To often in swinging, once you get to the play room, you will find yourself in a play situation that isn't working for you. At that point, the last thing you want is to feel obligated in such a way that you can't just politely leave.

I hold no animosity at all toward you. Is it so anathema to want to treat the couples you meet with generosity? As you were doing, I'm just bringing a little perspective to the subject. While I personally would never consider the possibility of NOT offering generosity to a single female, neither would I consider not offering generosity to another couple or a single male. I'm not speaking about you with this comment, as I don't know you, but a lot of the single females we've encountered not only expect generosity to be offered to them, as though it's a right, the thought that they should offer to pick up a tab is reprehensible to them. It's a bit of the spoiled diva syndrome. Having said that, we have met plenty of single females who are NOT that way. They are usually the ones we feel most generous toward in the end. Single females aren't the only ones who are used to being treated well, with respect and a minimal amount of class, and they shouldn't feel they are owed such any more than a couple is. My point is simply that what we expect of others, we should be willing to offer back, regardless of whether we're talking about couples or singles.

Maybe this whole tangent needs a clarification. Let's say a single girl seeks out and initiates contact with a couple who lives far away. It would be ridiculous for her to expect the couple to pay for anything. HOWEVER, alluding to my previous posts... yes, if it was me personally I would notice if they didn't offer. Not that I would expect it, but I would notice. But then again, who wouldn't notice? On the other hand, a single girl could easily play locally without much effort, so if a couple from let's say over an hour away initiates contact, I cannot imagine that they would not offer to pay for at least part of the travel or overnight expenses, knowing that the single girl probably has plenty of local options and doesn't need to travel to play. Maybe I'm wrong and maybe that's not how things work in the swinging world, but if they are seeking the single girl out and she's far away, it would seem odd that they wouldn't offer to pay. After all, a single girl doesn't have to search too far to play and would probably never have to leave her own backyard and still be able to find plenty of quality playmates. Ultimately, I do think there probably is an expectation... that the person who initiates contact will be a good host, particularly if they are initiating contact with someone far away. I'm not sure how this devolved into a debate. It was originally just an opinion about what a single female may be expecting when a couple wants to play with her. I feel like some responses were laced with hostility against anyone who would dare to swing and (gasp!) notice if a potential play partner isn't generous. I think I clarified that I was intending my opinion to be more about a single girl who is approached by a couple that lives far away. Not about a single girl who is seeking out partners and initiating long distance situations herself. Maybe I didn't clarify it at first because I thought the whole topic was about a couple seeking out the long-distance female. My response was coming from that perspective. If the question had been from a single female about how she should handle arrangements with a couple she invites to play, my response would have been totally different. Fortunately for me I honestly have no desire to swing that way... ie. to go out and seek casual sex as a single girl with ANYBODY. My interest in swinging is purely for the excitement it adds to a relationship with a husband or boyfriend, and our ability to share in each other's fantasies and maintain open communication. Which as I understand it, is a perfectly legitimate reason for swinging.