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WOW....there are so many things wrong with that last stement that I will go through it piece by piece and dismantle it..... It's not your place to say what the LS is for other people. For some SM, it may just be that. A place to find women to have sex with, but in a different environment that they may feel more comfortable in...How can you possibly define another persons experience? For couples YES, but singles ARE a part of the culture.So to feel as if there perspective is not something that should be respected is a fairly irresponsible attitude to take...it would seem to me that you would be asking for trouble with such an elitist point of view. Here you say some valid things (which I will address), but I would hope that not all share your belief that single males are nothing more than a "Talking Dildo"...I mean seriously, is this the level of discussion you want to have? It seems rather crass, and unfortunate that you would say such a thing.... NOW the point of your interactions being on your terms would depend on many things, but I assume would generally be the observed standard. The nature of 2 on 1 would pretty much make that evident. But again these are the types of things I assume would be discussed when guidelines, and rules were laid down...again this would be more of preferences thing. Some couples may want to be dominate, others may want to watch, some may want to be dominated....just like any other situation. AGAIN, crass, immature and unfortunate...I would hope this is not a common belief held in the LS. And from what I've read on here, there is much more of a sense of community than those statements indicate. This is maybe the most reasonable statemant made during your reply, although I would say that this is probably not an absolute truth... Never said anything of the sort regarding sluts, or desperation. That is your own insecurity coming to light....And this is the most imporatant line of my whole response....I am not some loser who is "striking out in the vanilla world"...I am in the bullpen practicing my pitches. I am in no rush. All things come in due time. That's why I am here... You can heave personal attacks at me all you want, you won't scare me away. I am intrigued beyond belief. And will continue to learn. Period.

Hmmmm. We think you have that wrong. You are hearing this from people who don't play with solo guys. They are a minority in the lifestyle. (Just look at the polls re playing with solo guys here on SB.) More couples are open to playing with single guys than not. There are a LOT of successful solo guys in the lifestyle. There's no accounting for taste, and there is no point in fretting about people's preferances. If they choose not to play with solo guys, you don't have a chance anyway - so why care what they think? If they aren't attracted to you, move on. Don't take rejection personally - they don't even know you. BUT listen carefully to the posts in this thread. They are full of insight - and everyone answering you here is doing you a favor. Bottom line for us personally is we play with solo guys, but more often than not we play with couples. Best bet is to find a swing partner and play as a couple. You will have many more options, and many more opportunities to play. Good luck!