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Why on God's Green Earth are you caving in to the comforts and preferences of some single guy??? Why in a million years did you let him call the shots? Fuck him! If he doesn't want to do a MFM with you forget his sorry ass and pick one of the ten million single guys that will do a MFM. You just aren't getting it. I don't know what is more amazing, the fact that you keep posting and asking questions or the fact that all of us keep trying to get through to you. You are turning this into work and hardship. this is something that should be fun and exciting that a couple does together. You two are caving in to the comfort levels of some 22-year-old nerd-boy wannabe and in the mean time are turning against each other and it is turning into a friction point Read closely... BAD SIGN DUDE!!!! WARNING! DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!!! You are all headed for a melt down here. Forget fairness, the world isn't fair. Forget keeping score, every man will lose every time. What you need to work on is your own relationship and your own sex life and if you want to swing it should be a part of your own sex life, not about the whims and comforts of other people that are wanting to get in your/her pants. OF COURSE every single guy is going to want her for himself, DUH!!!!! That's what guys do, they all want all the pussy for themselves!!! As a swinging couple it's your role and your responsibility to lay down your terms under what conditions they get to play with you. If they don't like your terms, to damn bad, they can go get a girlfriend/boyfriend like everyone else. Same thing applies to single fems only there is a different twist to it. Single fems can get any dick they want. If some gal needs to get comfortable with you alone it's because she is wanting a man of her own. again, DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!!! Stay the fuck away from that!!! Your line of thinking is way off. Single fems are in the lifestyle to explore with women and couples. They can get a single dick anywhere. Pursuing singles on their terms can only lead to trouble within your relationship. If singles want to play with couples they can do it under the couples conditions or they can go to vanilla bar and pick up another single.

Having been through a divorce with an ex wife who insisted on playing regardless of how I felt, I hope I can of some help. Thinking about what happens during this transition phase, it is of course good that you have been able to talk to her enough for her to assist you, when it comes to meeting other women. However the significant advantage a woman has in finding partners for casual no string sex, leaves you feeling left out and left behind. You should be able to explain to her how you are feeling and ask her help by hooking up as a foursome, if you think this would work for you, during this transition phase. I guess I would suggest that you discuss attending clubs together, or meeting other couples as a team, and that you swing as a couple, until you both feel comfortable with the freedom of meeting others whenever you have an opportunity. W/o going through the full transition and developing the new mindset which swinging requires, your chances of surviving as a couple is at a high risk for disaster. Chances are she really wants to stay together as a couple, but has a real desire to experience life while she is still young enough to enjoy it. You can work your way through this but it takes time and a willingness from both of you to make it work.

That's all good and well, but as it was pointed out earlier, Sif may be waiting a very long time, then. I hope you two take a break from this "open marriage" deal and get your shit together. If you want fairness and for her to wait and it's bothering you, then you two need to go back to the drawing board. That's what's fair - any issue should mean an automatic time out and a relationship check. I've already said fairness is a worthwhile goal, and others (some of who you've not commented on - Goodtimes and TNT in particular) have made very good points about fairness and open marriages and heart-thinking versus dick-thinking. I really wish I had seen you address their commentary, because it's completely relevant. I have already commented that fairness is a hard one to pull off and I'll add that if it's a tally mentality, it's really not much of an open marriage. If fairness is the theme that keeps arising with you - then both of you need to back off before you two scorch the land for miles around, leaving third degree burns on all three of you in its wake.

Part of me wonders why you are even posting these questions on here. There are over a dozen pages of dialog on your continuing saga of when your wife traveled to bang the 22 year old and you didn't heed the advice you were given then, why is this any different? People have tried to explain their thoughts to you based on their knowledge and experiences and you two have gone your own way and done your own thing. That's fine, we all have free will and we all have to do what we think is best and in the end we all either live with benefits or live with the repercussions of our choices. Many very knowledgeable people warned of what could come down the road from your wife's little adventure a few weeks ago and I see some storm clouds building on the horizon.

My opinion? If she is swinging alone and getting it, and you are swinging alone and not getting it, then there is different label used to describe your relationship.

Well, I think it's perfectly normal to feel jealousy...what I think matters is how you handle it, not that you feel it. It also sounds like the jealousy is over fear of an emotional attachment versus fear of physical enjoyment...I think that's understandable too. I know from myself, you probably have some kind of fear or insecurity at the root of your feelings of jealousy. Do some introspection ("Why do I feel jealous about this? What is it I'm afraid of?"), and talk with your wife about it. Figure out why you feel that way, and then you'll know whether it's something that you or she can remove or not, or whether you guys need to adapt how you handle the communication to not trigger jealousy for you. I think the fact that she said it's OK for you to play around, but she doesn't want you to fall in-love and leave her should be a really, really reassuring statement to you. She doesn't want to lose you...so that certainly suggests that she's not going anywhere either! I dislike the green-eyed monster myself...I don't like to feel jealousy nor make anyone else (especially my wife) feel jealousy. I don't feel jealousy very often, but when I do I usually work it out for myself. If I can't work it out, I talk to my wife about it, but in a very non-accusing way. I completely trust my wife, and I have never had any reason not to. Even if something doesn't "look quite right" to me, I assume she's innocent rather than guilty, and just talk to her about it. My wife has come a long, long way in overcoming jealousy herself, and the good effect for me is that she makes me feel very trusted. That's good! Relationships have to be built off trust, or they probably won't last. In the big picture, I just don't think there's any truly valid reason to feel jealousy. If someone is going to leave for someone else, would you want them to stay with you anyway? I don't like to chain or be chained with jealousy...it's VERY reassuring to set someone "free" and watch them NOT leave. You know for certain they really WANT to be with you (and you wouldn't know that if you chained them to you with jealousy...with me?). Trust breeds trust, and distrust breeds distrust. Even though you have some of these feelings, be sure to keep it stacked on the trust side rather than the distrust side. Loki