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Don't worry about the size of things how big, how small, how tall or how short. That's what so great about this life style. It's made up of all different kinds of people. Swingers do not judge! Hell if you like standing in a bucket of chocolate pudding singing I'm a little tea pot as your wife is pouring strawberry syrup all over your body you will still be accepted. Just make sure you bring enough pudding and syrup for us all. Come on out to a swingers club of your choice, have a couple of drinks and have fun. Just to let you know I'm a large man pushing 300 + lbs 6' tall and That don't stop me.

Being overweight does not mean you can't be good looking and have a great personality, two things that carry a lot of weight with who we choose to interact with. When heading out to the clubs be sure to shave, get your nails done, get a haircut, use makeup, a little cologne/perfume, dress to impress, have clean shoes. Basically don't look like a slob.

First, welcome. I'm going to cut through the usual on this one and get to the important bits. The way to look at this is like anything else in life, though there is one key detail, you CAN change your weight, but beyond that it doesn't change. If you have red hair, are very short, are very tall, talk funny, have one eye higher than the other, bad teeth, good teeth, B.O., perfume, small tits, big tits, *insert race* here, etc etc SOMEONE will reject you for that reason. Likewise someone would play with you, perhaps for that reason. Its a cliche but there is someone for everyone out there, even in swinging. Now lets go a bit further. Clubs often get a bit stereotyped. Some are known for people being more fat, others for more skinny people, some seem to attract an interracial crowd, etc. In my area, you would have no problem with your weight with one club we know of, and would be completely rejected by another. Its going to be up to you to explore where you fit in best. As a rule, you will be limited to couples in your same weight range, and before someone tells me otherwise, its not universal, tastes always vary. As long as you go in with the attitude that not everyone will want to play with you (and this applies to ALL couples regardless of looks) you will find people willing. The question is of course, are you attracted to them as well. My wife and my weight have yo-yoed quite a bit since we started swinging. Interesting to us, was a few years ago after the birth of a child we got back into swinging and at the time we had both let ourselves 'go'. New baby, lack of motivation, playing computer games (for me) made us heavier than we had ever been. We STARTED to get back into shape and thought we were 'pretty good' to put an add up. Well fast forward another year of mild work outs and better diet. I happened to be going through an old computer folder and found those original pictures. I showed them to my wife and we both had the same conclusion, we would not have have swung with OURSELVES the way we looked the year before. Perceptions can change as you are happier with your own looks. Now the one good thing you can do that others can't for their potential looks issues is lose weight. Its worth it on so many levels beyond just swinging. You can prevent a bevy of long term health issues which you could be on a collision course for as well as feel better with how you look so you don't need to wonder if you are too fat. You are both, give or take 20 lbs, almost 100 lbs over weight, this WILL get you with time. Its hard but it only gets harder with time. Swinging can be a GREAT motivation for working out and dieting, so run with it and help yourself beyond making it easier to find play partners.

Our experience has been a little different than most of you. It seems like the "skinny minis" as my wife calls them, won't have anything to do with people that are larger than them. We aren't huge, I'm 5'11" and 200 lbs, and shes 5'3" and 200 lbs, give or take 5 lbs. Our best luck has been with people around our size, or just a little larger. It might also be that we're 49 and 48, and the younger ones don't want anything to do with us "old folks". When we look at profiles, if the female doesn't weigh close to 200, we don't even mail them anymore, but if they contact us first, we will talk with them. Sure, I'd love to fuck a 98 lb woman once or twice, but the ladies with a few extra pounds look good to us, too.

Frankly, we have found that most people really don't care about size. There are some limitations, of course. We are a larger couple too and have friends of all sizes. Your wife should not worry. It seems to us that 95% of the men are okay with larger women. Given a choice between Christie Brinkley or Roaeanne Barr do you know who they would have sex with? BOTH!!! (I guess I am showing my age here, huh?) To us the "life-style" is SO MUCH MORE than just sex. It is a common denominator between us and people who have become really good friends. We like to enjoy their company before we hop in the sack. Our advice is to go to a function of some kind. A group get-together or a swing club. Don't dress like a slob or a snob. Be polite, cordial and friendly. Many times the conversations begin much as you would have with a new neighbor down the block. Let some folks know that you are testing the waters. I'll bet many of her fears fall by the wayside. Oh yeah, needless to say...don't try to talk her INTO anything. That is the surest way to create problems.

I know where you are coming from of this. We had these same fears/issuses when we first started looking into this. We were at our heaviest when we 1st started. I was just shy of 6' and north of 400, she was 5'8 and around 280. We even went one further and went to a nudist/swingers resort. We were expecting a cold reception because we had seen all the same sites you've seen. We both also had our personal history of how we'd been treated due to weight. Well, we were in for a surprise. We have never felt as welcome and appreciated as we did that weekend. We just fit in. Most people were smaller than us, but there wasn't any of the stereotypical Ken and Barbie's. Everyone was just normal people like you see in everyday life. There were hairy hippies, average soccer moms, old people, people with scars, and even a couple larger than us. Once the clothes came off and everyone was around the pool everyone was equal. We had people introducing themselves and welcoming us all weekend, and that carried over to the party, and on premises house that night. This is a link to a post I'd done before describing how this affected my wife who was very shy. I will also tell you don't discouraged with going to the "Y" it will take time, but it will be worth it. Not for how others feel about you, but how you physically feel yourself. We used swinging and our health as a motivator to start loosing weight this last January. I've dropped from 410 to 350 and she lost from 280 to the mid 230's. So it can be done, just keep working at it, it takes time. It seems we had a complication though. Loosing the weight and getting in shape gave us more energy and that led to too much time in the bedroom and we seem to now be knocked up. I wonder how that happened.

Hello and Now then, Of course they commercial sites are gonna put the super models on the main page, and any advert you see, they want you to spend money and give it to them.. Its a true paradox, because while yes they maybe members, the members on whole, much like anywhere you go, arent super models, or as was already said, more wal mart folk.. As far as your wife goes.. the best thing she can plant firmly in her mind is.. She is a desireable woman, and trust me there are plenty of people that will find her attractive. As was already pointed out, Attitude is everything.. Point her two places, before you step out the door, the first to SLS and have her just browse ANYWHERE and look at the profile place holders.. The second is RIGHT HERE.. The members here are possibly the best sourse of information ANYWHERE, and the positive re-enforcement she can get here will work wonders as well