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Hmmm, he cheated on her but couldn't be married to someone who is drawn to other people....okay...is that not the pot calling the kettle black? If he had/does want to be monogamous, then he would be. Seems to me it was his own guilt speaking. I've never felt guilty about being non-monogamous (swinging). Of course I was fortunate enough to not have been raised with a strict religious indoctrination, which I'm sure helps. Swinging is about trust and truth...not about lies and dishonesty...I just can't find anything in swinging to feel guilty about. Teresa

Did you say, "Ditto!"? It hurts when people put you down for your lifestyle choices, especially when they're just the type of person you thought would understand. Every now and then I get twinges of guilt. But if I stand back and look at it objectively, it's easy to see that it's just some of my old "programming" coming back to haunt me. It usually happens around family when they start badmouthing people with "loose morals". But I know it would hurt me worse to try to make myself agree with them again. I used to, you know. I was as vanilla as they come. I guess I finally got fed up with others telling me what I was supposed to believe and - like a flash out of the blue - realized that it was ME who was supposed to decided that. And that, not only is it my right to decide what I should or should not believe, it is my responsibility. No, my family still doesn't know. And if I have anything to say about it, they never will. Telling them would not improve anything at all, and would merely dissolve family ties for no good reason...seeing as how it's none of their business anyway.

Body language tells. Working as a team or individually, JoAnn and/or I will begin with touch -- footsies under the table, a hand on a shoulder, a hand on a cheek. If touch is welcomed, a kiss might be tried. If a kiss is welcomed, a suggestion might be whispered in an ear, along with a little nibble on the nape of the neck. Has produced a positive result more than once. The man has to lead. Girls like attention. ~Michael