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Both slevin and chicup are right, as they have been throughout most of this thread dating back to it's beginning. My take: Ya'll fucked up, big time. You were told the dangers of what you were proposing long before you did it, by people who have years of experience successfully inviting outsiders into their marital bed, and you blew it off. Both of you. I wasn't a participant in this thread in the early days, in fact as I noted until a few days ago I hadn't even read so much as the first post, had I been my advice would have been similar to that which you received. My personal opinion is that the best way to introduce newbies to the swinging world is for them to go to a club as observers and see where life takes them from there. What you guys did is so far off the mark that this outcome is, frankly, almost inevitable. If I go to a racing forum and say "I'm planning to do X-Y-and Z what do you all think?" and people who have been racing for many, many years tell me I'm nuts and I'm going to end up killing myself I'm probably going to listen to them. Granted the situation here isn't as bad as death, but I bet it sure feels like it from time to time. This is going to be repetitive, but it needs to be said. 22-year-old human males are pumped so full of testosterone that no matter where they are or what they are doing their primary motivation is to take action to get some pussy. Any pussy. At any price. When they finally find someone who is willing to have sex with them, they will do, say, or give anything to not have to give that up. But she's twice your age... I don't care, I'm getting laid! But she's married... I don't care, I'm getting laid! But you guys really aren't compatible outside the bedroom... I don't care, I'm getting laid! To a certain extent, this is actually a good thing, as ultimately it results in the propagation of the species and the continued existence of human beings. It also explains why so many marriages by men in that age range ultimately go south, as they really are thinking with the little head and not the big one. By the time they reach an age where the big one has asserted it's dominance, they realize they're married to a person they shouldn't be married to, and if push comes to shove I think most would admit they knew it all along and ignored it. That certainly describes my first failed marriage to a T. But that's only half the story, for boy-toy's desires are really only relevant if they are reciprocated, which unfortunately for you, they seem to be. Why? Butterflies. You remember those, don't you? That flittering feeling you get in your gut when you think about your new love, that overwhelming urge to move heaven and earth to be with them. They're a natural part of human relationships, but they go away, even in the best of relationships. So someone has come along that makes your bride feel that way again, the way she used to feel about you, and it's damn disconcerting. "Holy shit, what do I do, I'm in love with him, not my husband!" Only she's probably not. Even were she to leave you for him, even were she to marry him, it will eventually go away. And when it does, the real world will be staring her in the face. You see, as I said before swinging is a couples sport. I do not mean to imply that bona-fide singles are not welcome or should not participate, what I mean is that if you are in fact part of a couple, it is something that should be partaken together, for the sake of both people. And even then, swinging is not for everyone, for you must be able to separate sex from love in order to be a successful swinger, and based solely on Sif's emotional reaction when returning from her first encounter with boy-toy I'd seriously question if she is capable of doing so. But that's largely irrelevant, as you guys did not participate in anything even remotely resembling swinging. You sent her off to have an affair, Sport, and the only difference between her affair and a "normal" one is that you knew about it and encouraged it. That is ended (or rather, appears to be headed toward such an ending) the way many affairs do should not come as a that much of a shock. Where do you go from here? What advice do I have? I don't know and none. Until and unless Sif decides that her goal is to fix your relationship there really is nothing more for you to do. If she does decide that, and you want it to, it will be hard but you may be able to pull it off. If splitting up is the right thing, so be it.

I went through a little phase of being extremely scared of contracting herpes a couple of months ago so I did huge amounts of research. I think I have to agree with a lot of what is being said here...it's not as big of a deal as it originally seems. I don't think I'm now as scared of it (as long as reasonable precautions are taken) as I was. I think the thought of contracting it scares me more because of what it might do to our little "hobby" which we've really been enjoying! In other words, I'm not as afraid of us contracting it because of the actual consequences of the rash, but what it would mean for future play, which we'd really like to continue One interesting little tidbit I came across during my frantic researching involved a potential cure for herpes that some researchers think is on the horizon. It would involve actually flushing out the virus so it could be killed. Right now, what is so frustrating about herpes is that it hides in the nerves so well that it can't be killed. If they could get around that little aspect, it would be curable. Of course, no one knows how soon a cure may come about, but it was interesting.