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You are confusing "more accepting" with "more intelligent", two factors that often correlate, but not always. Those of us who are liberal progressives like to think that greater intelligence leads to greater open mindedness and acceptance, but it simply doesn't work that way (not always). What about people who are accepting of astrology, alien abduction, crystal healing, past life regression, etc? Is their acceptance of these ideas proof that they are automatically more intelligent? Wanting to have lots of sex with a a variety of partners is, IMHO, proof only that you want to have lots of sex with a variety of partners.

If your wife was posting here and talking about this from her perspective we might be able to be more help to her, and you

Yes, I did get the sarcasm...and I do understand your point. But allow me to point out an angle that you may not have considered. One of the purposes of a message board on a Swing Site is to provide a place to obtain information...especially for those just starting out. What better information on the Lifestyle than reading those a bit more experienced basically saying, "In this situation, this is how I see it and this is is how I deal with it"? Personally, when I cite an example of how I deal with something, I really don't care if it changes anyone's mind/behavior or not...I'm just presenting a point of view that can be considered along with all of the other ones out there. There are many methods that I understand the reasoning behind and accept as being equally (and sometimes, even more) effective than mine - but I just don't choose to use them. But some of the ones I do use were derived from having access to other people sharing their thoughts on things I was at a dead-end on. Now, were those thoughts and opinions sometimes expressed abrasively? Crudely? You betcha...many people consider tact and honesty to be mutually exclusive concepts. But the point is that the information was still there to be perused. An example: Suppose a new couple without any picture viewable had been on an ad site for a few months with very little interest or responses to their emails and were beginning to wonder why. Let's also say that it was a site that gave them the number of people who had viewed their profile.. and they thought it was lower than it should be. Isn't it possible that if they read several posts where members were saying that they simply don't read or respond to profiles without some type of picture.. a light might go on? Does it mean that they have to give in and post a picture? Nope - but at least it does shed a bit of light on it for them and help towards forming other solutions.

I have a couple questions for you. Are either of you actually pissing people off and being asked to leave clubs and partys? Are people treating you with disdain and discust? Have you ever actually played with another couple before or have you always been rejected or have you spent your entire swinging career on the sidlines? Is either of you actually rude and causing problems or are you just not "scoring" as much as you would like to? The most important question I have is how are you two getting along together and how are you enjoying your experiences together as a couple? I am picking up a little frustration and maybe even a little disappointment and bitterness in your posts. I appreciate the fact that you say that she states she would like to be more accepted and to play more often but then wouldn't we all?? What I am trying to get at here is if either of you is actually making a mistake or if this is just your cross to bare. We all have our own hardships and limitations that keep us from functioning at 100% efficiency. Here is a little personal analogy. In high school I lked playing football and I was a varsity fullback. I put my heart and soul into it and never missed a practice and spent the entire off seasons in the weight room. My coaches freguently patted me on the back and told me what good "spirit" and "heart" I had. By the end of my senior year all I accomplished was I received an invitation to "check out" (not a scholarship mind you) a football program at an obscure private college that hadn't had a winning season in decades. No Big Ten scholarships and no NFL draft for me. No matter how much I tried and no matter how much I did all the right things and made all the right moves I couldn't change the fact that I lacked the size, strength, speed and skill to make it big time. But I enjoyed the things I did do. My point is people all function at a different level of performance. A person that is 100 lbs overweight is not going to have the same opportunities that a hard body will have and some one that is socially inept will not have the same opportunities as a social butterfly.

If bi-male activity turns you on, then that's great. Enjoy it. But please at least be consistent with regard to the terminology you use in your posts and your profile. In your very first post on the Board you describe yourself as totally straight. Fine. But in SB Additional Information/Biography you state: "we are both bi" Your handle here is biplayfulcouple. Hellll-OOOOooo! There are some things that do not agree here. Frankly, if you are bi, your wife is bi, or both of you are bi...most of the people on this forum DON'T care! Really! The majority of the longtime, dedicated, concerned posters on Swingers Board really don't give a shit about your sexuality, they just try to provide you with the best information to address your concerns about the lifestyle. And if those of us on this forum don't know that much about an ancillary swing-subset, then we give our best guess. That's it. So, please participate here, biplayfulcouple, but I think serious posters would appreciate you being honest with how you describe yourself, or yourselves, as it were. P.S. Sorry about the acidic tone, but I'm unusually tired and cranky today, but still...