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I'm coming late to this somewhat long discussion, so I want to comment on only one thing: My perspective on this comes from the fact that I've worked at a swinger club. The problem with single men isn't that they're any kind of threat. Indeed, the single men who are looked down upon aren't a threat to anyone or anything except the smooth operation of the club (or the party, sometimes). The (perceived, and very often real) problem with single men is that they come to a club or party and act as though they believe that having paid their entrance fee is grounds to expect to have someone to play with that evening. They tend to be (*) pushy, arrogant, socially unskilled, insensitive, and rude. Many times when working the door (which meant, in the later parts of the evening after the door was shut for the night, I worked the open areas of the club, keeping an eye out for exactly this sort of troublemaker), I had to spend inordinate fractions of my time literally tailing certain single men, to ensure that they knew they were being watched, because the awareness of being watched is the surest way to keep a person on his nimblest socially-adept toes. There are a couple men whose arrival at the club always meant my evening would be occupied in a certain way. All this said, and with regard to my "*" footnote marker up there, this is a tendency, not any kind of absolute rule. There is a big bunch of single guys that I'm totally happy to see at any play event. It's just that one bad apple really can ruin an evening, especially when that one bad apple is mobile, meaning that he can (mis-)interact with a lot of people all over the place in relatively short order. Sorry if this isn't "liberating" enough for some folks, but one gets a certain perspective after being in the trenches.

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