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The swinger community in our area, even with several hundred thousand residents, is small, and I suspect that is true everywhere. Thus, shared fun, and unfortunatley some jealous and gossip does occurr. Our policy is never to kiss and tell, and never "share" any information, good or bad, about our friends unless they give us permission. We only comment on other couples/singles if and when we think there is a true safety issue. Unfortunately we have had one or two of those. The male half of a couple who told us they were not interested, called my wife at work, tracking her down from several work locations (she had mentioned her employer but not which location), and got very defensive when we told him that was innapropriate for two reasons; 1) We don't call people at work, its work, vanilla or swinger, and 2) they were not interested as a couple, but he was chasing my wife on his own. Stay on the high road, share the good about friends if they give you permission, otherwise just keep on being honest with each other and friends. If someone asks you outright about the facts, feel free to not comment or tell the truth. meetussoon

Take this as an important lesson! You knew this woman was "talking badly" about your other friends, yet you chose to get involved with her anyway -- did you REALLY think she'd be any different with you two?! Also, I always make it clear when someone starts "talking s--t" that I don't like gossip and won't be a part of it. It also makes me wonder if that person is a good friend to ME -- what are they saying behind MY back? Trust your instincts. You had a bad feeling about this woman at the begining. Don't talk yourself into being friends with anyone.

Well said, I agree with you on that. "Turn in your open minded card and exchange it for a hypocrate card." Swingers are thought to be open minded about sex, I personally would not think anything of it if she was an ex-escort/prostitue.

Playful1, you go, girl! As a former stripper who paid her way through college with crinkled ones and fives, I applaud you and wish you the best! My bachelors is in Criminal Justice, and I hope you get more mileage out of your degree than I got out of mine. It's nice to meet another normal gal doing what has to be done. Just to take a minute to touch on the "drama amongst strippers" conversation going on here, as much as I hate to admit it, yes, stereotypes exist for a reason. I would say that about 50% of the girls I worked with were either trailer-park style drama queens or spoiled little plastic Barbies that "just couldn't live off of $400 a night". That's probably just enough of a percentage to justify the stereotype. The other 50% were college girls and and women who either were single moms, or were providing the "luxury" part of their household's income. Unfortunately, the drama 50% are much louder and more noticeable that the drama-free 50%, so, they get noticed more. It's a shame that we wind up stereotyping people. I've probably had more black friends than white in my life, and none of them were "thuggalicious". I've had gay roommates and friends, and none of them were child molesters. I've known lots of swingers, and I never met one who was a sexual predator. I've known and dated, and occasionally been an escort, and none of us were drug users, much less abusers. And in all the adult establishments I worked at, I never worked for an owner who partied and used drugs (some of ya'll are definitely going to some really bad clubs), they always wore nice business clothes, never talked down to us, and advised us not to piss our money away (which is a lot more than I can say for some of my former day-walker employers). I'm still very good friends with the last club owner I worked for, we occasionally go for a meal or to a game together. Heck, for that matter, during my summers off from school, I "day-lighted" as a librarian while stripping at night, so I guess that puts me into the uber-cliche category. But since we're going to tenatively agree for the moment that there is a high percentage of drama and issues with some strippers and escorts, let me point out that the only ones that I ever saw problems with were the girls who came from a background of poverty and...what's the politically correct way to say it?...hmmm...maybe a family history of social assistance programs. So, it's my theory (based on five years of observation in the field) that the drama isn't really a by-product of being a stripper, but instead is learned from earlier experiences. And I'm not denying that being a stripper will exacerbate any body/relationship issues that a girl/guy might have had before going into it. It genuinely is the one venue in our society where a a girl who wouldn't give x guy the time of day can be summarily rejected by him (but I'm digressing into the issues of the stereotypical topless bar customer). It's like any other job in life, stripping will either kill you or make you stronger, though I know stockbrokers who say the same thing about what they do. Anyway, long and short of it, no, it wouldn't affect my decision. I'd still go on whether I was attracted to them or not. There's only one occupation on my no play list, and it's not strippers and escorts.

Watched this thread from the beggining. Didn't feel any need to add to the good advice of the other "old timers". But I gotta say. Either someone is making up a bunch of BS or they are completely stupid! I love Mrs. Cpl dearly and there are things in her past that I know about. There are things in my past that she knows about. Here is the crux: IF she had been raped by two guys at the age of 17 I would shoot my pecker off before I ever considered asking her for a threesome with another guy. Who in the hell has that kind of thought with that kind of history? I stand by my opinion: Loki: Either you are full of shit or just plain an inconsiderate stupid man.