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Susan here-- When I first began exploring sexually at 28 and single, I had only been in 'normal' monogamous dating relationships. Then I had casual sex with a friend and woke up the next morning and realized that nothing bad happened and it had been fun. This led to me having two different men over a weekend, both friends, and everything was great. This led to my first foursome with Michael, Tom and Kate and it was great. I have never looked back. So, yes, you can go from very conventional mindset to an unconventional one. Being afraid is normal, but do not substitute fear for reason. You're simply having adult fun in an adult way and as long as you handle yourself in a mature, yet fun loving way, things go pretty well. At least they have for us. And again, if you try it and you don't like it, so it goes. No crime, no foul. But, it has to be a choice that you want to try it, not something imposed on you. Make no mistake, I only did what I wanted to do. I also knew that if it wasn't for me, I simply stop. You are always empowered to what the next moment in your life is going to be.

I just read this entire thread. Epic. Reminds me of another forum I post at where a lot of personal advice is often asked, and ignored. Here's what's often posted to summarize it, and always makes me laugh: OP: "Help! HELP! I'm stuck in a well!!!" posters1-4: "Climb! Climb up and take our hands!" OP: "I'm thinking I should dig... should I dig?" poster5: "NO! I was trapped in a well, and digging is a bad idea! Climb out!" posters6-8: "Were lowering ropes! Take hold of a rope!" poster9: "I've even tied a harness to the end of this one!" OP: "I can feel the ropes, but I don't want to hold onto them... should I dig?" poster10: "No! If you dig, you'll hit water, and then you'll be proper fucked. I should know, I almost drowned." OP: "I dug a little bit just now, and I haven't hit water. I'm gonna keep digging..." posters11-18: "No! Climb! Climb out!" OP: "Guys, I'm seriously stuck in this well! Help! HELP!!!" poster19: "I was trapped in a well once. It took me two years, but I managed to build a climbing machine that pulled me to safety out of a well bucket and a pocket watch. I'm dropping the blueprints, extra buckets, and an assortment of pocket watches." poster20: "I've engineered a jet-pack that will rocket you to safety. Stay where you are and we'll lower it down!"" "OP: "Thanks for your help, guys. I'm gonna keep digging. I'll find the Mines of Moria and I'll just walk to the surface." **posters1-20 piss in the well** poster21: "Guys, seriously... stop peeing in the well.""

I totally agree with you pensacolapair. It is nice to see this subject here because those experiences you mentioned are probably not unique to many black swingers (at least those who try to integrate anyway). It is nice to see this board is so open to whatever as long as the attraction is there, but I know that is NOT the case everywhere. My husband replied earlier that we've had no problems (he's white, I'm black). Bless him he can be blind sometimes. 1) You will absolutely see in people's profile's "we don't do interracial" (so does that mean you would screw an all of one race couple?) "we only like white, hispanic or asian couples" (ie no black people...I feel those people are the worst. just say it) and "no blacks!" (how do I feel about this? thanks for being honest even though it does sting, but it's their preference. move on.) 2) At parties I can be this mythical object to most people. I have been gawked at and completely stolen the show when I go to parties and play with people I already know. But thats just it...no new people. You can tell men are attracted to me, but they just won't take the step...or they wait until their wives leave which is just weird to me. 3) And yes, you will get the "I only want to be with you because you're black" people. This can be quite annoying, and we tend to avoid people like that. So yes, there are issues that black couples will face in the broad swinging world, just as there are issues that blacks may face in their everyday world. My best advice is to do exactly what the poster did...which is ask the questions to people who know! Ask about clubs and parties. Read certs. Or just say screw it, go to the club, and just hope your personality (and your yummy curves) shine through. And this would have been a MUCH more interesting topic if someone had come out and said...you know what, I just don't prefer blacks. And, just to stir the pot I will admit it. My preference is with white men over all others. If I am at a party I am more open minded to all people, but I have hit the delete button a bit more readily when black males have messaged us showing interest. There. I said it.

I see this question being no different than if someone were to ask,"We've heard that swingers aren't interested in older couples, why is that?" It's not asking if ageism is right or wrong - it's asking 1) Is it true and 2) From those who feel it is, for reasons why Folks.. the original poster wasn't asking how should black women be accepted/perceived in the Lifestyle - she was asking how are black women accepted/perceived in the lifestyle. There is a hugh difference. I should be able to leave my car running in the summertime while I pop in to get a soda at the Circle K...but the reality is that it's really not a good idea! She stated "I have been told by several experienced swingers that most swingers are not interested in black females", and posted the question to get other opinions - either supporting what she had been told or contrary to what she had been told. Personally, I think there have been and continue to be answers on both sides...but I will concede that there have been more on the "I like pie" side. Although my original response to the question was made in a joking manner, it also served to point out that there are black people who swing..so by default it's not a totally lost cause. In the context that the OP asked the question (she was planning on checking out the club scene), I know from personal experience that there are individuals, groups and venues where black females are unwelcome at the worst, or at best, treated as an afterthought: We have been to parties where it turned out after we got there that the primary interest was in having a black male... although they were polite, it was evident from their actions my wife was expected to be a spectator... although more than welcome to play with her own clit. One of the weirdest things we ever stumbled on to was the night we were partying at a Meet n Greet and were invited to an after-party by a mixed couple (black man/white woman)we had met. It turned out that the other couples invited were interracial couples too - and only one other black woman there besides my wife.As far as the other men there were concerned, the two black women may as well have been invisible! We have met couples with the same hidden agenda, where it turned out that my wife was only supposed to be along for the ride - the husband preferred to watch his wife, take pictures and pull his pud.One wife even expected her to understand that, "It's nothing personal, he just isn't into black gals". Just as an earlier poster mentioned, we can't count the number of times we've been expected to be flattered by "I've always wanted to fuck a black chick" or "we've been looking for a couple with a bi black chick forever"...but on the upside, I guess it shows that there is some specific interest in black women. Yes..the thread is old, and the OP probably has been gone from the board for a couple of years - but so what? IMO, the original question was a good one, and going with the idea that if one person asks a particular question, there are very likely more people out there wondering the same thing - entirely relevant.