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dburton, Funny that you mention this. Because that is exactly the way it is when you go to a swinger's club. There is all the preperation, the clothes, the makup, what to wear come witching hour, all of those things. Driving up to security and giving your first names. Then actually walking in to the receptionist and registering. Then being the newbie walking into the club for your first time and you feel like a spot light just came on and shines on you and everyone turns to look. But, they didn't really. Then you know what? It didn't take us 30 minutes to shed all of that and realize that we had just entered the sexiest environment that we had ever been in. That we were meeting the nicest people. Then within two hours we wrapped towels around us as we got out of the hot tub and sat at the bar in only a towel visiting with the other nice people there. So what you are feeling, we all feel the same thing! But after the first couple of times, you look forward to the anticipation, the rush, then you are on a different plane after that point. Something you will never find in a vanilla environment. S

Humor works very well in this situaiton. When all of you are together bring it up in a non-threatening way and see where the conversation goes. our 2 cents

Feel free to start shit with me. The lifestyle isn't about swapping? Ummm no, it is. Swinging isn't every fetish out there rolled into one. Swinging is swapping partners, I'll even say 3somes count in there too (and thats a subject for debate), but thats about it. I don't care how many times you watch someone have sex, if you don't exchange partners at some point, you are not a swinger. To use a more clear analogy, lets take football. I don't care how many games you watch, how well you know the stats, how much you enjoy talking football with the players, until you played your first NFL game, you would be a rookie. I sometimes feel like being a 'swinger' is somehow a cool club everyone wants to say they are in. I have no idea why this is, but thats the impression I get. Saying a non-swapper isn't a swinger, isn't a negative judgment, they can do whatever their kink is and enjoy it, but they just aren't swingers, any more than I am a BSDMer, or HotWifer, or cuckhold.