“This is entirely up to you but it is my personal opinion that if you can't handle your partner going off to be alone with someone else, you can't really handle swinging. You might be worrying too much about what they're doing to really enjoy it yourself. Give each other space.”
I’m going to play devil’s advocate here… (Please understand that I haven’t read the book, so I may be putting words into the author’s mouth. I don’t mean to – I think she could have explained herself better.)
Putting safety concerns aside for a minute, I think the author meant this paragraph to be a ‘gut check’ - a way to gauge your jealousy level. All things being equal (again, safety concerns aside) if the thought of your SO in another room with a playmate ignites any embers of jealousy within you, then maybe you need to think about that. In that context, I can not only understand the author’s point, but can also agree with it to a certain extent.
There’s also the ‘power’ issue. We have met some very controlling men in our experiences. We know more than one couple where the male insists on being in the same room, not because he’s concerned for her safety or turned on by watching, but because he wants to direct what happens, and approve just about every move she makes – one guy even wanted to approve of which position his wife screwed in. No, they’re not friends of ours – we met them at a party and were turned off completely by the men involved. ‘Give each other space’ is not only good advice in this instance, it may even qualify as ‘words to live by’ for these people.
As I said before, I think she could have explained this a lot better. I will give her points for declaring that it is just her opinion. Like I said, maybe I’m putting words into her mouth – I don’t know. It is a thought provoking topic though.