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Although from time to time we encounter with such newbies who asks to help them to enter swinging I don't think newbies need somebody's help indeed. I mean the help from one or two certain persons. The more better to learn the opinions of many reading this board or other resources like this board, to try swinging and get own mind from one's experience. So it doesn't matter with whom to begin swinging. To our mind good swinging doesn't depend on experience of participants but depend on how much they suit each other.

I'm sorry- I didn't mean to sound like I was whining and complaining. After our conversation last night, I was very unsure of myself and needed to hear if my feelings were valid or not. 2x4's to the head are accepted if needed... (I felt like I was being told my feelings were just plain wrong or that I shouldn't feel that way.) The current situation is that I'm taking a break from the lifestyle while I'm thinking things over and he can go do whoever he wants at the moment , just leave me out of it (my attempt to prevent him from suffering on my account while I figure things out). His preference is for us to continue playing as a couple, but that's something that's out of the question for me. Second choice is to continue on his own. For a long time, I have felt like bait in this whole thing, as we both know his chances are far better if I'm with him. I want the monogamous relationship we had at the beginning but that doesn't seem to be an option. I don't want to share my husband or be shared myself. I'm sorry if that sounds like petty jealousy but I had thought sex would be special and reserved between us as a married couple, but the rules changed on me. I don't want to be a swinger, and never did, and I'm working on building up the strength to tell him that- I am not good at speaking up for myself and I am very scared about the possible consequences. We have two kids, 18 and 16, and their needs will be the overriding consideration in all this, no matter what happens. Again, I'm sorry if I sounded like I'm whining, there just aren't many people around whom you can talk to about a situation like this or to bounce ideas off of. Thank you for listening, and I'll continue to work on building up my backbone.