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I have read all the posts in this thread and rather than comment on the statements made I prefer to bring it back to the OP My friend, your question while it has drawn a lot of comment, is, a matter of PERSONAL PREFERENCE. You draw conclusions that are without inclusion of the one factor involved, the CHOICE. I love going to airshows, which most often include SKYDIVING. the act of jumping out of a perfectly good airplane to "fly" - FALL and then float to the ground on some rope and nylon.. Pretty to watch but I aint setting foot on a plane let alone stepping out before it gets BACK DOWN.. And I love adventure.. but its my PREFERENCE .. see what I am sayin? A child, will and does often argue that they do not like this food or that one without trying it.. because they do not have the tools to make an informed descion, Right? Using that train of thought, you are supposing EVERYONE should be FORCED to spend a bit o time between the knees of the same sex before saying.. No. This lifestyle that this board is devoted to, is all about PERSONAL CHOICE AND PREFERENCES. Becareful before making statements about what EVERYONE should do before making choices about what they like or dont.

In this thread Overcoming Objections to Swinging one question got me thinking. -Worry that your desire for swinging means that they are not enough for you? I really had to sit back and ponder this question for a couple days. Is my involvement in the lifestyle proof that my wife is not enough for me? Is her desire to play with others a sign that I am not enough for her? Are we active in the lifestyle to fill the void that we both have in our sexual desires and fantasies? I am forced to consider that we may well not be enough for our spouses/SO’s. We all have desires and fantasies of being with others outside of our marriage beds. But why? Why are we excited by the idea of being with someone else? It is not an emotional issue. We love our mates and, for most of us, have no desire to share that feeling with another. We are not lacking in our emotional capacity to stay emotionally true to one another. Emotional monogamy is never in question. We are then brought to the physical aspect of our union. What is it that keeps us from being completely fulfilled by our mates? If they were everything and all we need, we would not have fantasies or desires for another. If they were “enough” for us in our passion or wants, we would have no need of others involvement. If they are enough for us, why do we swing? Why do we take another to bed, engaged in virtually the very same activities and motions we share with our mates? How can we justify our partners as being enough for us if we continue to pursue these activities? Do we do this out of fear of infidelity? Can we honestly say that, knowing our appetites for sex as we have openly expressed them, we would not stray in the future had we not been free to act within the lifestyle? Is this possibility the actual driving force behind the community? Is the fact that my wife thinks about being with another man proof that I have not been enough to please her completely and wholly? Have I not been enough for her to commit to me and only me in both body and mind? To be truly “ENOUGH” she would no longer have fantasies of another’s involvement. I would not think of being with another woman. We would not imagine the touch and feel of another with such reverie! I think this question deserves some true thought. For me, I would have to say, I am not enough for Mrs. CXXC. But in my limitation, I am ok with that!

I've had my share of sexual dreams in my life. Not once did those dreams ever include bisexual contact with me and another male. And you decided to beat a dead horse.... but anyone with the guts to overlook that will likely find something pleasurable. This has nothing to do with guts. The problem I think everyone out there makes is that they assume more people have their particular kink then people really do, and if they don't its just due to a character flaw in the person without the kink. I don't understand a foot fetish. I really don't. No amount of 'trying' it or guts would make me get off on feet. I don't understand bestiality. I can understand someone so desperate that they might turn to it as a masturbation tool, but I can't understand people who don't need the outlet turning to it as a preferred method of sexual contact. I don't understand male homosexual activities. I understand it from a scientific stand point, I am tolerant of people having them, I don't think they are wrong, but I don't 'get' it at a sexual level. I just don't see the attraction, and seeing it to me is the SAME reaction I see with bestiality. You just need to understand that some of us really don't care about society (we are swingers, think about that) when it comes to our sexual activities, are open to new experiences, but just really don't want to have sex with other males.

I have to mirror NC here. Everyone has fantasies and dreams. Mrs. CXXC had many fantasies and dreams of being with another woman. She realized them and knows that she enjoys the activities very much. She is, by true definition, Bi. That being said, I have never in my life fantasized or dreamed of being with another man. I have not felt the slightest interest in performing nor receiving oral or anal pleasure from another man. Hell, I haven't even thought of kissing another guy! My view on societal standards is with slight disdain. I have never been one to go with the flow, so to speak. My faith is also in conflict with many of my personal views in life and sex. I am not at all guided by the moral fabric of society. I get my morals from within, not from the outer influences. Why am I not interested in the pleasure without gender mattert? I simply don’t find it appealing. Have I contemplated the matter to the fullest? I believe so. Mrs. CXXC and I have discussed it at length. If I were so inclined to do so, I would have already. She would encourage such an act as it would excite her. However, once again, upon further review, I am not excited by the idea. If it does not excite me, even in the smallest way, I don’t pursue it. I look at it like I do any variant of the lifestyle. I am not into S&M. Water Sports does nothing for me. SCAT, HOT Wax, Bondage or the like are of no interest to me. Have I tried these? No. Why would I if I am not at all excited by them? Have I been clawed and scratched, smacked and bitten in the throws of passion? Yes. But I found them to be detractors not exciting. Therefore, I can only rest on my presumption hat I am correct in my other thoughts and feelings as well. Bi-sexuality is not something that appeals to me. Am I being close minded? I don't think so! I have, after all, given the matter a great deal of thougth and consideration. The answere still remains, NO. It is not for me.