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I haven't posted for awhile but feel compelled to reply to Rays. Please return the law books that you borrowed from the first year law student. When I was in law school one of the first things we were taught about advocacy was the following (1) when you have the law (the statutes) to support your argument, pound away at the law, (2) when you have the facts (but not quite the letter of the law) on your side, pound away at the facts and (3) when you have neither the facts nor the law on your side pound away at the table. You appear to be in the latter case. Your reliance on contracts, torts and a stab at criminal law to justify your contention that "cheating" is an affirmative defense to a sexless marriage is amusing but legally misplaced. While I am not familiar with the laws of your state of California (I passed the bar exams of Michigan and New York) I can definitely tell you that contracts law is NOT applicable to family/domestic relations law. If your wife is withholding sex then you may have grounds for a divorce based on irreconcilable differences. If you chose to go that route then yes you will have to pay child support. But take it from a guy who has been married for 28 years to the same woman and has three grown children; you will be broke whether you are married or not and there will be times when you will have to take a cold shower and sleep on the couch due to some tiff. Over those years I have learned the meaning of sacrifice. If you are not prepared to make those sacrifices then for your child's sake see a divorce attorney now. What I find appealing about the people in the lifestyle is that they place a high premium on the concept of honesty. I, for one, find that quality in people refreshing. So if you are looking for some sort of moral support in your quest to cheat on your wife then I doubt if you will find it here.