As a married male and also in the eyes of Ray's grandmother, a male of "Older Denomination"; I will say that my life’s experiences lend me to agree with Ray's initial analogy and continued debate.
I'm not going to attempt to substantiate my position by citing specific references to my personal background, including issues I've dealt with as a "male of need" within our social welfare system, but I will say that not only is our perception as a society biased, it is that way within our legal system, our welfare system and our individual personal values and morals.
However, even as some others have posted with replies and references that have not been completely on topic target, those points of view have been for the most part, equally correct.
So anyway, I think it's a great POV discussion about a great subject, cheating. Is there really any situation that exists which would condone "cheating"? Whether it be "Breach of contract by withholding of sex or abstinence" (Prove that one), or any other justification?
I think not.
I think the law provides remedy thru other means.
But I have a question. Say for example, one spouse is purposely withholding sex from the other spouse and that the deprived spouse informs the withholding spouse that if the current situation concerning sex in the relationship continues beyond a specified date and time, that the deprived spouse will begin a search in an attempt to find a partner or another means of sexual release.
I know some will say, "If your at that point, just get a divorce", but sometimes, as stated in a previous post, that may be the lesser of the two evils for reasons beyond our scope and understanding. I know some will say, "Doesn't matter, I still wouldn't have sex with him/her", but that's not my question and I'm hoping my question borders the OP's original POV with this related POV possibility.
If the deprived spouse informs the withholding spouse of their intent and the withholding spouse apparently holds the means by which to prevent the deprived spouse from pursuing a quest for sexual release and the withholding spouse elects to continue withholding sex, is any sexual contact by the deprived spouse outside of the marriage considered "Cheating"?
We talk about being open and honest, I believe the deprived spouse qualifies by making the statement and the withholding spouse makes a decision to continue their abstinence.