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Mrs. Cat here....Mr Cat and I have been discussing swinging and playing with other people for awhile now, and have decided to take the plunge *eep*. One of my main fantasies has been to be with two guys at once, and ultimately try a DP. We posted an ad on craigslist last night, and got a TON of responses. We picked a guy and made plans to meet up tomorrow night. He is a single male, obviously. We have set ground rules and made plans, and are going to see how things go. My question is how common is it to start with a MFM threesome? Anyone else get their feet wet this way? What should I look out for? I've got nervous excited butterflies dancing in my belly....

Yes I have and am prepared to do so in an instant if need be. A good portion of thinking about quitting is our lack of luck in the lifestyle. 3 out of 3 men nonperformers doesnt make for great success. Meeting people in the first place is seeming to be so difficult to begin with. Sometimes we wonder why it has to be so hard and is it worth it. But we keep trying. We see so many others having fun that we figure our time and place has to come sooner or later. As for quitting in an instant, that will happen if I ever feel that out trying is hurting Bunny too much. If she ever starts getting overly depressed because she feels she is the cause for our lack of success because of her size, its over. I will not have her hurt over this. I really have to respect her. We know her size is a limiting factor in finding playmates, but she is still willing to keep trying.

I always thought the sixth sense was "I see dead people". Of course, they're not that healthy either, so I guess this fits. So, for those of us that don't have any sense (wait. what?), do you recommend we continue to use condoms? I can't recall one time in our swinging experiences that we've said "They don't look healthy, and could possibly be incubators for an STD, but since we have condoms, we'll go ahead and do them".

Hey Mrs. Cat. Mrs. Diggs and I just started into the lifestyle about 2 months ago. We actually took a trip a long way away from anyone we knew to "try" our hand at the lifestyle. Like the two of you, we had talked about this for years, off and on. We ended up working out a MFM experience while in New Orleans and it has taken us two months to find a couple we really felt we "clicked" with and this weekend was our first couple experience. I must say that both were fantastic experiences so don't give up. While I'm sure you are disappointed, I think it's easy to get excited over a fantasy but when faced with that fantasy becoming a reality, it is a lot scarier. You use words like trust, honesty, love every day but rarely do couples put themselves in unfamiliar situations where those words are actually tested. My wife and I can honestly sit back and say that we have been drawn closer together from our few experiences. Communication is key and talking about what positions you would like to try is not communication, lol. We each have a comfort circle and sometimes its hard to do something outside of that even if there is a desire. Have you talked about starting off softer? Maybe with another couple to do some light foreplay but no actual swapping? We didn't do this but I have heard it has worked for others. I think it is harder to find a couple you click with then a single person but it does allow you time to go back and talk about the experience. What you liked, what you didn't like, what made you uncomfortable and WHY? Continue to read these forums and get Mr. Cat involved. We had thought we worked through about everything until we actually hit the club and then we realized, wow, we had a lot more to talk about. I truly wish you the best and I hope that the two of you are able to work through it. The last thing I would say, and this was said already, just because you make a date, there is NO obligation. If you are setting it up with another swinger then they will understand that. Never feel obligated to do anything. Even if you start and one or both of you get uncomfortable, stop. If you let the person/couple who you are with know that you are new then they should understand. If not then they are not the right person/couple to be playing with. If you start and your husband stops it, make sure you are understanding and work with him to find out why he was uncomfortable. When we did our first MFM, my wife continually made eye contact with me to make sure I was okay with everything going on. Sometimes that communication doesn't have to be verbal. Good luck!