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I think we actually started because we WERE discovered. We used to be so careful about our erotic adventures that we never really got anywhere. Then one day, after a fallout with a friend we were outed to our group of closest friends and to our surprise, most of them are still with us. Despite that they did express that they could/would never do anything of the sort, we still see them and it's almost as if nothing happened. So in the end all that changed was that we became less concerned about hiding our nature and now we regularly find much more play dates than before. A lot more fun this way....

Nothing like keeping a great post like this going. I've read a few comments from people who have hinted around what "pops" into my head after reading the title of this post. I think WesternSwing and JustAskJulie come the closest but I really felt the need to voice my own opinion about this topic. Granted I'm new and my experiences are few but I would be extremely naive to believe that Mrs. Diggs and I will not run into this, maybe even frequently. After 12 years of being together and having lots of great sex, there is nothing that quite compares to great "NEW" sex IMO and even bad new sex is still quite fun. Intimacy is what comes from 12 years of being together and something that a fun swing night can never compete against. A couple that truly loves each other will share a level of understanding and love that goes beyond the physical yet infuses every physical act together. I'm sure there are going to be guys/girls out there that will give us experiences we will never forget. Swinging is just like a relationship in the fact that it requires communication and disclosure, lol, trust, honesty and respect for it to continue to be an enhancement to your relationship. When you lose all that then to me it's only a matter of time before you lose the reasons you got into the lifestyle to begin with and it becomes just about the sex and not an experience to deepen your relationship with the one person you have truly given your life too. Call me delusional, misguided or silly but this is a learning experience and therefore you should expect that you will learn something from it. Share it, enjoy it but always remember that once you start hiding things and blurring the lines, you have to ask yourself if you are still in it for "both" of you or just yourself? Most posts I see on the swinger boards like SLS all state things like this is about enhancing a couples relationship. Keeping things from your SO seems like a growing wedge that will eventually poison the relationship to me. Sometimes growing in a relationship isn't as comfortable as we would like but in the end, I'd choose growth over stagnation. Too deep? Have Fun !!!

If we're talking about my ex-wife here, the answer not only is "Yes," but the specifics run well into double figures. But if we're talking about the woman whom I think of as my real wife, the answer is: No way--and, since I can't imagine that it could ever happen, I can't choose any of the options offered in the poll. Of course, we've both had other partners we've enjoyed lots, both before we knew each other and since we started swinging. But we've come to understand that a lot of what makes our swinging encounters exciting (apart from the obvious elements) is that, when we go to a club or meet a couple, we're making sex the main event of the evening. Conversely, when our one-on-one sex generates something less than fireworks, it's usually because it comes in the context of a busy day when we don't have all that much time for it and we're just trying to get it in (all puns intended). However, we've been on vacation together of late, and have been reminded of something that's proven true of other such vacations: when we're able to relax, ignore the clock, pour a drink, put on a porn movie, and take the time to do all the fondling we want before we move along to other activities, our sex is not only as good but better than anything that happens when we swing. And that's after 16 years together. If there's any exception I should make in answering this question, it's probably on my wife's behalf. I believe her when she tells me that she's never enjoyed any other man as much as me, but when she's with a woman--well, it's not that she might enjoy her partner more, but she certainly enjoys her differently. And I can't really feel threatened or diminished by that, because I know that it's comparing apples and oranges. And, since she hasn't announced that the three of them are running away together (i.e., her, her favorite lady friend, and the strap-on), I assume that, on the whole, she'd rather be with me.

Main reason we swing is for the variety of sexual partners, experiences, different ways intercourse can be and is done, and, also to experience variety of physical and mental feeling during the act of sexual intercourse. In addition, the varied and different feel of the woman's vagina to your (man's) penis and your male partner's penis when embedded in your (female's) vagina during intercourse is what makes swapping mates for intercourse so very exciting. Therefore, swinging and swapping mates for play and sexual intercourse with someone other than one's spouse is not so much better as it is different and so more exciting.