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definitely heed the advice of the two pros who just mentioned the copyright issues at hand. if you offered him nothing in trade, it will be difficult for you to fight him in court if he tries to argue that he taped it for use by BOTH parties. (i.e. he provided his services as a videographer and a copy of the film in return for the sole rights from you to profit from the pornographic film. In the photographer biz this is casually known as "TFP") It will be your word against his, as you and your wife will be looked at as one entity because you are married. Even if you sue him for a copy (since that is all you are saying you agreed to, not the original), if his attorney is bright, he'll just argue in court that his client has the right to sell the film now to recoup his profits form the legal fees. Since you are essentially going to court and admitting he did indeed film it, he was not compensated for his services, and it was understood from the start that he had the right to own a copy as well. All of that implies that you understood he would retain legal ownership and copyright of the footage. Like others said, you can't argue that his compensation was sex, unless u want your wife to go to jail for prostitution..... bottom line, this could get VERY messy. the only lawyer who could help you would be a very expensive one. although i do feel for your situation, it hardly seems worth the effort. just walk away with a hard lesson learned and pray he has just as much to lose as you do from the video's release.

Although I have no experience with posting video on the net, I do have a lot with still photography and want to ditto Julie. And, I would like to add that as she said, he may still post it without your permission, of course he would have to forge a model release, etc. If you found out it was posted somewhere, you could probably get a DMCA takedown but would you want to do that every time he posted it somewhere? It would have already been downloaded any way. And you would have to identify yourself to do that. Besides, if he wants to share it via a file sharing program it would be like trying to capture the wind. Just cross your fingers and try to learn a lesson from it. Maybe your wife could talk to him and get him to delete all files, I think it's probably your only acceptable option at this point unless he has shared it in some way already. I had a lot of photos stolen from my flickr account (hundreds) and used without my permission by blogs, web sites, business (including major corporations) and found out the hard way just how screwed you are in the control department once it goes on the net. To do anything without going public would be impossible, I believe. A few took them down when I requested but most didn't. I've since restricted my flickr posting to just hobby photos and snapshots and only upload commercially suitable photos to stock sites. If I shoot pics of friends for them I upload them to a private password protected site for them to download or order prints from. Don't let anyone take any photos or video you wouldn't want on the net, even film. I can take a film shot, and have it developed and digitized and on the net in one to two hours, quicker with a Polaroid. You are a little safer with a professional photographer because they have a reputation and business to lose. If you hire them to take photos you can have a clause in the agreement that you retain copyright to all images and they don't want to be in the news for copyright infringement because it might ruin their business and will guarantee less business in the future. The average Joe has no such worries.

We are human in our desires. People have specific things that turn them on or off. Most people prefer someone who is HWP. Those outside of that measure are not attractive to them. Others find age to be an issue. What you find appealing is never going to be the same as everyone else. Should we all base our desires upon what is inside and not the outward individual? That is would be Shangri-La, now wouldn’t it? I would never expect a person who possesses outer beauty to desire me. I would never ask a 21 year old woman to look beyond my years despite my sexual abilities or talents. I cannot accept who feel this way either and nor should you. If you truly feel that every person is beautiful, you are blessed and nature has painted a wondrous canvas for you. Unfortunately, not all of those in the lifestyle are as fortunate as you in their view. Most have pre-ordained images in our minds of what we will enjoy and find attractive. How we view the lifestyle is entirely up to the individual. It means something different to each of us. We all live in a glass house of sorts. Even those with the most liberal of tastes do.