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We haven't been into full swinging for too long, but we have always felt we should take things as they come. If we contact you or set up a date, it's because we want to have sex with you. We will play on the first date if we're comfortable. If we really like you, we're happy to be friends, but it's just not the goal for us. It's the same attitude that I (Adam) had when dating. I was looking to sleep with the girl first. If I liked her, I ended up in a long-term relationship. If not, it was a short-term thing. I don't see any reason to approach swinging any other way. Swing is about sex for us. The positive side-effect has been that we have become much more social and have met some really cool people.

Why ask without asking? Why not try the direct approach??? First, insure that there is: Then: and say something like, "Baby, you seem... Then continue with, "Honey, what makes you... Maybe you two will be able to have a good talk about this, maybe she won't be that into discussing it. If she isn't, you really can't do much about that. I doubt pushing would help, and pushing may be part of the problem. You say, swinging aside, things are good between you two right now, and you could take swinging or leave it. Forgetting about any swinging is always an option. Could be that for whatever reason, it just may not be the right time for her right now. Just tell her you want to stop swinging because things are not feeling fair to you and that she is all you really need anyway.