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IMO, if you really want to explore swinging, one of the best things you could do is go through this entire site, the both of you and not necessarily together. After a few months or even a year or so, you will realize the reasons couples swing, the implications and results. If you guys are completely honest you will learn more than you could imagine about each other. Even if you find this not for you, it may bring you both closer together. Just being able to talk about sex, fantasies, your wants, her wants does wonders. You will find that it spills over into other aspects of your lives. For us, it's a gift we give each other and it isn't just about what I want or what she wants.

That depends on the situation, but I can say without embarrassment, not always. And what if she's not sexy? I know there are some men out there who say all women are sexy, but I'm not one of them: I know some very unattractive women. And not all of them are hard on the eyes, eh? You sorta feed into my point to. By your response you're giving me subtle disapproval (deliberate or not) for "having a problem with it." So the implied message is that I'm supposed to not say anything and pretend to be fine with it. After all, I'm a man so I can take it, right? So how many of those guys you mentioned above just smiled and went with it because they didn't want to act less than a man? (I'm not saying you are doing this deliberately, just pointing out the messages that are sent) I have a strong concept of personal space. While I may not be threatened by a sexy woman coming up to me out of the blue and groping and grabbing me, I'm probably not going to welcome it either unless I'd been giving her plenty of eye contact and other body language or other indication that it is welcome.

I think in a marriage that is no more than average it's probably normal to not talk openly about your fantasies. I feel that being able to talk openly and honestly can make a marriage above average and is a very good start to maybe one day exploring those fantasies. I believe that when you feel like you're both holding back from communicating jealousy can arise. How can you let go of jealousy if you can't be honest or trust that what the other person is telling you is true? You just can't. Start by being open and honest with her and encourage her to do the same. See what happens then and go from there.