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You're doing the right thing posting here. You guys really dodged a bullet in figuring the above bit out. Testing relationships is bad. Coming to a deep understanding of (and respect for) each others feelings and a place of total honesty is good. Testing pretty much always backfires and causes a lot of trouble. THIS kind of test is one you do NOT want to screw up So good job in slowing down! In our past we played a lot of games and did a lot of testing and its really only the foundation strength of the tie we have that kept us from killing each other before we came to that "diamond" state. Try to get her to read here as well (or at least discuss the things you read here). There is a huge range of experience on the forums in all aspects of this. The jealousy you're feeling isnt abnormal at all. It's actually extremely normal. Whether or not you can overcome it is an unknown. And there is no "right" answer. There is nothing wrong with you if this isnt cut out for you and there is nothing wrong with you if it is. I think I understand your mindset when you lied and said you would want a threesome with two girls. I feel that was a kind of reflexive defense mechanism. It's really not a "bad" lie. I think you should come right out and talk to her. You need to both know that you are both happy and satisfied in your relationship. You need to create a safe zone so she can be completely honest without fear of reprisal. She needs to provide the same. As it stands now, you both share the same fantasy really (her with two guys). Making it really simple (its not a simple thing, but the basic outcome is)... You want to give her her fantasy, but you want to know that you're "safe" in doing that. Its really that easy.

I think y'all're on the right track, Mr. Sealover. You have a bit of a distance to go but y'all are talking to each other about the very issue! That's a huge step! Perhaps you lied to your wife because you were afraid of what she'd do if you told the truth? If so, y'all must first remove that fear to tell the truth. Leave behind forever the concept of "telling each other what you think the other wants to hear." I'm embarrassed by how many times I've given this advice on this board but here it comes again. Early in our relationship Mrs. Alura and I made a promise to each other. It was that we would never get angry because a question was brought up and that we'd always answer truthfully. "I don't want to talk about it!" was never acceptable. It worked for thirty years for us. All the advice is good. Talk to your wife, not just about sexual or jealousy issues, but about life. What are her fantasies for a summer vacation? Good Luck! We're pulling for y'all! Mr. Alura

No one has a perfect marriage, but before you can consider swinging (as Lee said) you do have to have completely open & honest communication about everything. You have to be able to tell her the truth about your fantasy as well as about your worries of jealousy. The more you talk about it the more trust you can build to work past the jealousy. One thing I've found too often is that if someone is jealous or worried about what their partner would do it's usually because they are hiding something theirself... in this case you are hiding the truth.

Hi Sealover and Welcome to the Swingers Board!! First of all, I agree with VegasLee all the time! He never gives faulty advice to anyone and listening to his suggestions is always a good step toward a healthy swinging relationship. Jealousy is an issue that can really destroy a relationship ~ in or out of swinging. Do you know why you're jealous? Do you feel she'll run off with another man? Do you think she might fall in love with someone else? You'll never know how you're really gonna feel until you're in the thick of things and you see your wife in action, in real life. Also, you admitted you told an untruth to your wife and that's not good, either. You have to be completely honest with your feelings and desires. I know it took us a long time to get there, and it was out of fear that we don't want to lay out our thoughts or feelings for fear of being hurt or rejected. Most times, the fantasy is best kept as a fantasy. Reality can sometimes turn around and bite you in the ass when you least expect it. Fortunately, for all of us, these swinger articles are posted here to help everyone who are just getting started. Please read those articles listed and there is also a list of "DOs" and "DON'Ts" that are helpful for guiding you.

Welcome to the forums. First off you two have to be able to talk about anything and everything with total honesty. You lied because you have jealousy issues to deal with. Many, most people can not deal with their spouse having sex with others. That is why this Lifestyle does not work for Most people in this world. As long as you have thoughts of Jealousy then you need to forget the other ideas until you know for a fact you can deal with it. That day may never come. That is "normal". YOU HAVE TO TELL THE TRUTH ALWAYS! Once you can come back here and say you have that "Diamond" relationship then you are ready to consider this lifestyle. This lifestyle won't fix anything in a rocky relationship or even a border line one. It can and will destroy a relationship though if that relationship is already not one of the best in the world. Always best to make what you already have as perfect as possible before trying to add something that could destroy it. Good luck to you.