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jealousy is primarily about fear, it is there and it can only be dealt with over time... you do need to be honest with her if you are ever going to seriously consider swinging. And hiding what you feel keeps a wall between you. now for the nitty gritty, it takes time to adjust your way of thinking, and it may take a very long time. take everything one step at a time and you will have to agree to go only at the same level as your partner. It can be done but it will not be easy. She brought it up because she is interested, you need to go back and tell her, you know it isnt esy for me to admit it, but I have those feelings too. Share this board with her, talk about the questions you see others ask and work your way of thinking thru the issues that concern either one of you. when you are ready go slow taking it one step at a time. your jealousy will only subside when you are really in unison with your spouse, and you no longer have the nagging fears you have now

Guess it is time to jump in here. Since I have been in the real "Porn" business for 30 years now, in the Lifestyle longer than that and running a very known club for half that time. EVERY TIME that any well known porn people have showed up at the club the "Swingers" left. The others, nonswingers, which is most these days, were all excited and hung out. For those that go to clubs and don't swing they seem to be very into porn and porn stars but it puts a big damper on a good Swingers Party. Same pretty much holds true when a group of "Internet Girls" shows up. The Swingers hit the door and some of the single guys are cool with it until they meet the girls then wonder why they wasted their time. Even at the National Lifestyles conventions they found "most" of the time Porn and Swingers did not mix. There where a few exceptions but very few. Take it for what it is worth but over the years we have found it is not a good mix. It can be good for business if you are mostly catering to "todays non-swingers" that hang out at Swing clubs and parties but that is not the crowd that we try to attract. Good luck to you.

Hiya Sealovers. I think you've been given some great advice here that’s probably spot on. I'd like to offer a slightly different take though, it's probably not the right advice for you but since everyone handles things differently it may be a helpful perspective. Lighten up. It's sex and it's fun. It sounds like you are pretty "in your head" right now, and that’s a great place to find fear and insecurity to get in the way of an otherwise really enjoyable experience. If your wife and you both think this experience would be fun, why not give it a try and see? Since the lines of communication between seem to be pretty wide open, odds are it wont do any irreparable harm to give this a shot. If you try it, and find the jealous feelings inhibit your good time, then you know it's not for you yet. If you try it and find the sexiness of the whole thing completely overwhelms any other feelings, then you know you are in the right place. As long as your wife and you are communicating freely and without inhibition, then I suspect you are pretty well insulated from any lasting harm. You don't have to be perfect or be in a perfect relationship to enjoy swinging, you just need open communication, a sense of perspective (it's just sex) and a willingness to go and have raunchy fun sex with other people. as I said, this may not be the right advice for you but it sounds like you have plenty of reasons to hesitate already. I just wanted to give a word or two from a different view. Whatever you choose just be sure it's what you and your partner really want, and be sure you both fully understand the others reasonings.

Exactly! In it's common use, it is an "umbrella" term, which if you ask me makes it not that useful in communications if you already know your current swing/poly inclinations. BUT!: Ya know, there are a few rare couples that use this term literally. They grant each other perfected personal agency. In other words, their respective sex and/or love interests are each others own business. Their commitment to one another is one thing, everything else is another thing. It's not poly, it is more libertarian or libertine than anything I think. They may share the existence of outside encounters with each other -or not, but it is not expected or required and mostly not done as far as I can tell. We knew two successful couples (both amazing couples BTW, and both 20+years and going last I knew) that did this, even though we could not comprehend how their relationships really worked. Anyway, if the term "Open Marriage" or "Open Relationship" has an objective and specific meaning, I think it is this more literal one.