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Hello, and welcome. There is lots of good advice here, including reserving regular time for the more difficult discussions. I need to try that. What struck me as unusual is that you said that you have no issues in the bedroom, but you are having sex (between the two of you, that is, not masturbation) only once or twice a week. To me that is a problem, and that is where I would start. The other stuff is all great and may come in the longer-term, but twice a week seems to me to be infrequent for a cohabitating married couple. You seem to genuinely be a loving man with your wife's happiness at heart. Do it with love and tenderness, and focus the discussion on what would be best for her and for the two of you, not "me." You have given this a lot of thought; she needs to catch up. The only point you need to insist upon is that to you, a low frequency sex life is a problem that needs to be worked out, that it can be worked out her way over time with no pressure, and it will be fun. Ask her what she would like to explore, with the only unacceptable answer being "nothing." Hold back at this point on trying to take this in any particular direction by suggesting anything specific, and just make her feel comfortable talking about her fantasies. Start with asking small questions about whether she would prefer more or less light, which position, does she enjoy you rubbing her clit while having sex, does she prefer you perform oral on her as foreplay or a wrap up. As she opens up, be prepared to encourage whatever progress is made. If she surprises you for instance by starting a fantasy about you and her girlfriend, be receptive but don't take control of the thought even though you have given your fantasies and plans a lot of thought. For instance, if in your enthusiasm about her opening up you seem overly interested in her girlfriend she may feel threatened. Or if you take this to start talking about her and another man, it may be a total turn-off. And ultimately it may turn out that she enjoys talking about you being with another woman but actually doesn't want it to happen, while actually enjoying another man in your bed but not wanting it to be drawn out fantasy talk. The fact that your goal is to see her sexually pleased in any way possible (not insisting on only MFM or FMF or whatever) will likely lead to success. You are almost certainly right that there is something wonderful going on in that girl's head. It's your job as her husband to lovingly coax it out. Once she opens up you two will begin a fantastic trip that will bring you closer. Just let her drive.