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Unregistered, you have communication confusion. Because of what happened you're projecting the negative experience to a fault of your husband so therefore you don't trust him, and that's what's changed in your relationship. You are also using this as a way to garner attention from your husband in a passive aggressive manner. Ten months is a long time to carry on your pretense that he did something wrong. Grow up; you're an adult; it's time to start thinking with your head, not your guilt, and chalk it up to one not so pleasant experience. You are not perfect and no one expects you to be; your husband isn't either, and it's the bad as well as the good experiences that we learn from to deal with similar circumstances in the future. Twelve years is a lifetime in lifestyle years as far as developing open lines of communication with your husband, and everyone above has said it so well; learn to only allow yourself to indulge when you feel the chemistry with someone.

First off, get something straight. That was not a "swinging experience". That was you cheating on your wife. In Swinging, EVERYONE involved is open and honest with EVERYONE involved. Your wife was involved, you just did not inform her of that. YOU CHEATED on your wife, you did not have a "swinging experience". You already know the answer to that question. YES. Time for you to find a new hobby and try to be honest with your wife. Let her find someone that has enough respect for her to spend the rest of her life with. You don't care who you hurt, you just don't want to be found out. Wrong answer. Cheaters give swingers a really bad name because others think like you do, that cheating is swinging.